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Stepparent calling a partner's child "theirs." WDYT?

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:43 AM
  • 42 Replies
Is this uncouth? Should the step parent ask permission of the child to refer to them as "their child?" Does it matter if the step parent had a role in raising the child? Does expressing ownership of a child as your own express love? Or boundary stomping/inconsiderateness to the biological parent?
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SpnFulOfSugar
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:44 AM
He/she is their stepchild, I don't see how calling them theirs is an overstepping of boundaries
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:44 AM
My husband refers to my dd as his dd.
Remy11
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:45 AM
I don't think it's a big deal at all. All my associates and friend know I have step children so if I say something like "our kids" in referring to them all (both step and bio) I don't think twice about it.

We don't "own" anyone. I include and treat my SK like hey were my own and don't single them out as something less. Then again I have a good relationship with their mother and she has no issue with it either.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:46 AM
1 mom liked this
My step dad has been in my life since I was 4... I'm now 37 and he's always called us his children. He has no children of his own. I am glad he views us like his own. If my kids were to ever have a step parent, I would hope the step mom would view and treat my kids like one of her own.
Exsxfxy
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:46 AM

I think it depends on the role the step paren't plays and if it is important to the child. If my daughter had a step mother who claimed her I wouldn't like it, unless it made my daughter feel more loved. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:47 AM
I don't mind my ex's wife calling my children "hers." I do have a problem with my ex calling them his though. She's more active in their lifes than their father ever thought about being. They don't take them for visitation ever but she calls and texts to see how they are and if they need anything.
ragdoll7777
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:48 AM

I don't have a problem with it.

Seagodess
by Emerald Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:48 AM

 I dont think its a problem. I think its expressing love and care for the child. I know a few step parents who consider their step children their own. They dont pretend the child doesn't have another parent though. My friend says she has 3 kids, even though only 2 are biological.

zacmacsmomm
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:49 AM

I don't believe it's over stepping one bit.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 23, 2014 at 10:49 AM

It depends on the situation.  I don't claim them as MINE and only mine.

A few times, skids would get upset when I would introduce them as STEP... saying that they are mine too.  lol... I love my skids and we get along great. 

Funny, starting my new job, I put up pics of my skids and people asked about them.  They questioned my relationship with them (good, bad? what!), so I just started saying - "these are my awesome skids!" so they didn't question if I actually loved them or not.

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