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Back Off! I won't let you do this to her!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 41 Replies


I am absolutely livid about this!  Ever since I have known her, my MIL has always been obsessed with her weight.  She is constantly saying she is fat and has to work out more (she is 75 and no more than a size 2).  She is also very judgemental about other people and their weight and has no problem mentioning it to someone if she thinks they are overweight.  She has no problem telling my H that he is getting too fat and needs to watch his wieght.  He is far from fat and is a very average weight .  He has mostly muscle, that she calls "fat".  Anyway, my DD who just turned 5 is a bigger build than my older daughter who is actually behind in her height and weight averages.  My 5 year old is slightly higher than average in her wieght and height and my MIL keeps insisting that she is "fat" and we need to restrict her food intake.  Well, the straw that broke the camel's back was was when we were at my daughter's birthday celebration in front of family and friends, she gave my DD a  baby size plate, cup and bowl as a present and told her that was the only amount she should be eating, that she eats too much and is getting fat!  She then went on to say that her DD's  father better watch it too, because he is getting fat too.  Oh my god, I could've strangled her! this is in front of everyone while DD was opening gifts!

I feel like she is giving DD a complex about her weight and she will end up with self-esteem issues or worse, an eating disorder.  I refuse to allow her to do this to her.  I am all for healthy eating and exercise which is what we are trying to instill but I'll be damned if I will let her give her a comples complex about it!

What would you do to protect your child, if someone was doing this to them?

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
greenlove2013
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:43 AM
2 moms liked this
I would have yelled at her and made her leave the party right there and then. What does your husband say about this? He should be standing up to his dd
greenlove2013
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:44 AM
Also i wouldn't let her see dd til she can learn to stop being so damn judgmental about a little girl
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:47 AM

He has dealt with this his whole life so he just ignores her when she says it to him.  He knows I am upset and he is bothered too that she is starting this with our DD.  H always says something to MIL when she criticizes DD's weight but she is so stubborn, she c ignores him and continues to do it.

Quoting greenlove2013: I would have yelled at her and made her leave the party right there and then. What does your husband say about this? He should be standing up to his dd


MastersonQueen
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:49 AM

 I would have snatched that away from her and threw it in the trash...ok no I probably wouldn't. I would want to. I would expect my husband to do it, of course he wouldn't and then guess what super amount of problems come to follow after that. I just recently have decided to disengage from my MIL for myself and my son. She isn't good to us & we don't deserve to keep putting ourselves out there only to be put down. I envy people with good MIL's!!! I was never married to my ex before my husband but his mom never did the things that my husbands mom has done, you know the difference in my sitch is the bloodline. I'm not from her so she has 0 respect for me or my son. She likes to play all nice for my husband though. I wouldn't allow her around my children until she respects them. It's not about the way they look! You stand strong for your kiddo's!

greenlove2013
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:50 AM
Then don't bring your dd around her. Simple as that

Quoting Anonymous 1:

He has dealt with this his whole life so he just ignores her when she says it to him.  He knows I am upset and he is bothered too that she is starting this with our DD.  H always says something to MIL when she criticizes DD's weight but she is so stubborn, she c ignores him and continues to do it.

Quoting greenlove2013: I would have yelled at her and made her leave the party right there and then. What does your husband say about this? He should be standing up to his dd

sweet.daydream
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:51 AM
Tell her to stuff it! Then focus on instilling confidence in both of your DDs, that way grandmas harsh words don't mean anything to them in the future.
ZombieMeat37
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:51 AM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't let someone like that around my kid. Period.

Chaos1229
by Gold Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:52 AM
2 moms liked this
I would be keeping her far away from my kuds after that !
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:53 AM
In your case, I would limit her contact with the child.
My DD's father is always trying to put her on a diet (she is 8 and completely average on terms of height and weight, but she had a but more of a belly then her sister, 6, who is just a stick). Since I cannot legally limit her contact, I just talk to her about healthy eating and making smart food choices, and smart activity choices.I also talk to her about body type, and how different people can be beautiful in very different ways.
jujubear1
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:53 AM
Its sad that she's so obsessed with weight, even after all these years. Sounds like she needs help, but probably won't get it. At this point, you need to lay down the law. Explain why its a problem and let her know she will see your dd less if she can't stop it.
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