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My DH is controlling.... I think...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 79 Replies
Is this a control thing? Dh and have been together for 8 years and as of recently we started counseling for a few issues like arguments and small stuff. Well ive been noticing that since starting counseling he was doing great and now he suddenly stopped trying he doesn't do the exercises and keeps threatening me with seperation. Well then next thing I know he loves me and doesn't want to leave and wouldnt have anywhere to go anyway. When he threatens separating I of course breakdown and then hes no longer leaving. Like today we argued over something minor which honestly I started it didnt go the way I expected so we argued. At the end of the argument he said I need to think about our relationship maybe its not worth it and once he saw that I was breaking I asked so are you planning on leaving again he said no....
I feel like he has kind of isolated me I had alot of male friends when we first met 8 years ago and he didnt like that so little by little all of my friendship ended. Now he complains I have no friends and he wants to hang with his buddies and im contoling him and making him feel guilty. Is all of this some form of contol because thats how I feel. He sees no wrong in himself its all my fault. According to him I havent changes but I know I have he on the other hand really hasnt. Please give me honest advice I need help here.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:35 PM
Also he has depression but its still no excuse.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:39 PM
Bump
Medic32
by Go PREDS! on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:41 PM
6 moms liked this
Manipulation and gaslighting
sarastanley88
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:43 PM
I feel like you need to not worry wtf your dh says and get a hobby. He should do the same. Spend way less time together
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:44 PM
I think it's manipulation too if he wanted to leave so bad he would have left regardless of how much I begged him not to right? Im sorry but whats gaslighting? Ive never heard that term

Quoting Medic32: Manipulation and gaslighting
AvantGardener
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:44 PM
1 mom liked this

This

Quoting Medic32: Manipulation and gaslighting


mmmcoffee72
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:45 PM

Quite the manipulator you have there

Medic32
by Go PREDS! on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:46 PM
Read this :

http://www.thehotline.org/2014/05/what-is-gaslighting/

Quoting Anonymous 1: I think it's manipulation too if he wanted to leave so bad he would have left regardless of how much I begged him not to right? Im sorry but whats gaslighting? Ive never heard that term

Quoting Medic32: Manipulation and gaslighting
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:46 PM
So how do I properly go about stopping this because it hurts and its not right.

Quoting AvantGardener:

This

Quoting Medic32: Manipulation and gaslighting

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 23, 2014 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this

You need to ask yourself if you really want to stay together (and "for the kids" is not a good enough reason), or are you just afraid of the unknown, and that's why you break down when he says he's leaving.  Doing that is a manipulative move on your part, and you know it.  Yet you think he's being controlling.  Clearly therapy didn't help either of you.

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