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I want to be that person

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
I want to be the person my husband sees when he looks at me. I want to be driven, focused, accomplished, attractive. I've been so depressed for so long, now that I'm on meds, I don't know who i am.

I've never been much of anything. I've always been not enough. They never really tell you how destroyed you can be by emotional abuse.

I was never enough for my parents. I'm afraid that I'll never be enough for anyone.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 15, 2014 at 12:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 12:55 AM

For clarity, is he emotionally abusive to you?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2014 at 12:57 AM
No. My parents were when I was growing up. He's nothing but wonderful and supportive.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

For clarity, is he emotionally abusive to you?

svolkov
by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 12:58 AM
Were your parents abusive? If your husband sees your worth it will greatly help you see it too. I was abused for 8"yrs by my ex....8yrs of being worthless fat and ugly has no comparison to a childhood. It took along time for my confidence in myself to return.
Once you start meeting goals you set you will see that you do have worth. I hope you are getting counseling as well
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:00 AM

Other than meds, are you in therapy?  I know this sounds canny and all but it helped me tons.  You are not alone.  Sometimes it takes a "neutral 3rd party" to get you pointed in the right direction. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:04 AM
I do see a therapist. She says I'm "surprisingly well-adjusted". As mush as I know logically that I'm more than what my parents treated me as, there's a part of my brain that I feel will always be 12 years old and terribly afraid and inadequate.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Other than meds, are you in therapy?  I know this sounds canny and all but it helped me tons.  You are not alone.  Sometimes it takes a "neutral 3rd party" to get you pointed in the right direction. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:07 AM
I was emotionally abused by my parents and previous partners. It's hard to feel like I'm not a great big pile of shit or a liar.

Quoting svolkov: Were your parents abusive? If your husband sees your worth it will greatly help you see it too. I was abused for 8"yrs by my ex....8yrs of being worthless fat and ugly has no comparison to a childhood. It took along time for my confidence in myself to return.
Once you start meeting goals you set you will see that you do have worth. I hope you are getting counseling as well
nonyobizniz
by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:13 AM
Been there done that

Fuck them
All you need to be enough for Is you

Love yourself
Accept yourself
Challenge yourself.

Make small goals and meet them and revel in that small satisfaction.

No one can love you enough to love yourself

You need to start waking up and telling yourself what an awesome strong person you are.

Self pity won't get you anywhere
nonyobizniz
by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:15 AM
Stop relying on other people's opinion of you to define who you are.
Stop relying on relationships to define your self worth
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:19 AM
I don't pity myself. If anything, I'm too hard on myself. I'm very critical of others and me. I'm also somehow incredibly insecure and I don't know how to get past that.

Quoting nonyobizniz: Been there done that

Fuck them
All you need to be enough for Is you

Love yourself
Accept yourself
Challenge yourself.

Make small goals and meet them and revel in that small satisfaction.

No one can love you enough to love yourself

You need to start waking up and telling yourself what an awesome strong person you are.

Self pity won't get you anywhere
nonyobizniz
by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:34 AM
Who the fuck are you trying so hard to impress woman?
Huh?
Who's standards are you trying to live up to?
Who's version of you are you trying to mild yourself into?

I hope it's yours.

Because when you try to be the person everyone else wants you to be you can't be yourself and you will never be comfortable in your own skin.

Being driven to succeed at somthing you love or because you have goals to reach is one thing, and trust me it's fucking tough!
Hard on yourself?
You don't even wanna know how I can be on myself.

Nut at least I'm the one pushing me to be somthing and someone I want to be.

Know what I mean, jellybean?

Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't pity myself. If anything, I'm too hard on myself. I'm very critical of others and me. I'm also somehow incredibly insecure and I don't know how to get past that.

Quoting nonyobizniz: Been there done that

Fuck them
All you need to be enough for Is you

Love yourself
Accept yourself
Challenge yourself.

Make small goals and meet them and revel in that small satisfaction.

No one can love you enough to love yourself

You need to start waking up and telling yourself what an awesome strong person you are.

Self pity won't get you anywhere
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