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SIsl's wedding - do I have a right to be slightly offended? Edit

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 32 Replies
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First off I'm flattered she thinks so well of my skills, although I am not a professional and now feel very pressured to do something I may not be able to deliver on. I've never seeked trying to make money for taking pics because it's only just been a hobby.

SIL is getting married and she has every member of the family (siblings, nieces and nephews) a part of the wedding. My BIL's fiancée is even going to be a bridesmaid and my youngest dd is going to be one of the flower girls.

I have a nice camera and accessories, but it's really just a hobby and I've not developed my skills enough to start asking people to pay me for pics. SIL wants me to be her wedding photographer. When she first asked she kept playing it down, saying it was just a small to-do and nothing fancy because they're on a budget. She really played it off as being low key and wanted some pics, telling me she wanted me to be a bridesmaid but decided since I can take pics, she'd rather me do her pics and said she would pay me.

Today she sent me a list of requested photos that she wanted for the wedding. That list is 4 pages long. So now I don't feel like I will be able to enjoy the wedding of my SIL because I'll have to be behind the camera the entire time. I'd like to enjoy the first time in over a decade that DH's entire family will be together, and part of me would really like to be in some pictures.

I'm still going to do it but I can't help but be a little hurt and offended. I've been married to this family for 10 years now and this big event will look like I'm nonexistent while BIL's fiancée will be in everything.

BTW I have no idea what she's paying me, she hasn't said and I don't know of a tactful way of asking without offending her.

**EDIT - I just sent her this text. Hoping I wasn't out of line.

So I got the email. Wow. That's an extensive list. Please send me a revised copy when you can narrow it down. Seems like I'm going to be behind the camera the entire day and not so much be able to enjoy the festivities. This is the first time since the thanksgiving pic at (mother and father's) new house that everyone is going to be together. Will anyone else be taking pictures as well so the entire family will be included in the photos?
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KairisMama
by Sapphire Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:27 PM

 I'd have your husband mention payment to his sister, it might be easier that way. She NEEDS to pay you something for your services.

luckysevenwow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:27 PM
Let her know that you are honored she wants you to do the pictures, but the list needs to be downsized. Four pages is crazy, even if she is paying you.
thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:28 PM
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Photographers are so expensive. She is trying to cut corners.
702girly
by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:29 PM
5 moms liked this

I wouldn't do it. It was one thing when it was a small wedding where you were supposed to take some pictures but a four page list of requirements?

She's going to be the client from hell and you aren't even a pro. So not worth it. I'd tell her I couldn't handle it and didn't have the skills she needed. I'd rather she be mad at me for that than for "ruining" her wedding pictures. 

alli1204
by Silver Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:30 PM
If you're not comfortable then just tell her. And I'd send her a price sheet giving her a layout of an amount of pictures and a corresponding price. Almost like packages. Maybe when she sees the more pictures you take the more she will have to pay she will chill out on wanting a million pictures!
aiyess
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:30 PM
1 mom liked this
Talk to your DH. Tell him your concerns and see what his opinion on this. I honestly wouldn't do it because I wouldn't mix business with pleasure. What would happen if she hated it? From what you said that she came out with 4 pages for pictures to do, yikes! She wants to be cheap and honestly I don't see her paying you and bitching later on.
csxt99
by Jennifer on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:31 PM

You won't enjoy the wedding. You are going as the hired help, not a guest. Tell her you won't do the photography since she wants professional quality from a hobbyist.

Hanab818
by ThePonds on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:31 PM
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I don't think I could do it. What if you found a cheap photographer and offer that as your wedding gift to her,
MicheleJM
by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:33 PM
I agree only because you have reservations now about your skill. I'd be honest with her and bow it. You can take candids but tell her you don't feel comfortable with professional ones. If she insists inflate your prices a lot...maybe she won't go for it.

Quoting aiyess: Talk to your DH. Tell him your concerns and see what his opinion on this. I honestly wouldn't do it because I wouldn't mix business with pleasure. What would happen if she hated it? From what you said that she came out with 4 pages for pictures to do, yikes! She wants to be cheap and honestly I don't see her paying you and bitching later on.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2014 at 9:33 PM
I haven't even considered a wedding gift at this point. She asked me 3 weeks ago and the wedding is next weekend. I don't have a few hundred dollars to pony up for a photographer.

Quoting Hanab818: I don't think I could do it. What if you found a cheap photographer and offer that as your wedding gift to her,
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