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Was it my place? LONG

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies

I had a complete blowout with someone I've been friends with for over a decade.

She has always dated losers..more like complete assholes. Mainly for the sake of being with someone.  A few months ago, she met someone at a bus stop and they "hit it off".  Only, about a month or so later, he's asking her for money...and she gives it to him (which I didn't know about til after the fact).  A couple of weeks ago, she tells me he wants her to have his baby and marry him, etc...and that she was considering it even though she doesn't love him because she wants to get away from her overbearing mother!  "Well, move out!  And if you can't afford it alone, get a roommate...a girl...that way you won't have to ever worry about being romantically involved with ur roommate or get into any drama with them...and even if ya do, you can leave cuz, guess what! ur not romantically involved/no kids together!!!" 

This morning, she calls just to say "hi."  We are goofing around as usual, when she gets a phone call. She puts me on hold and when she comes back, she sounds very somber and tells me she has to finish getting ready.  I ask her what's up and she tell me she's going out...to get a LOAN with this guy, "for us," she says.  When I ask her why, she says so that they can get a car....we get into yet, another argument and finally, I tell her "if you can't see that what everybody is saying is true, that he is the worst choice you could ever make, and that we are only saying it to keep you from getting hurt (from the get go, we've been sayiing this)...then I don't know if I can be friends anymore"

Was I wrong/petty/immature in saying this????  I feel so horribly guilty, like I've betrayed her in her hour of need.  We've been friends since high school and she's been with quite a few jerks prior to this one, but he really takes  the cake.  And one of them, she even moved in with for a brief period but they couldn't afford the utilities.  I feel like the world's worst friend...but I am just SO tired of the same bullshit all the damn time.  I really don't know what I could've said to change her mind or if I should've said any of it.  I really just wanted to protect her, but another part of me feels like she is acting so rashly and foolishly!!!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 15, 2014 at 10:28 PM
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Replies (1-4):
thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 10:34 PM
I don't know. It is difficult to watch people go down the wrong path. I think I would say my opinion once and make it clear that it didn't want to hear anymore about him again. That would likely put her in the place of ending the friendship herself.
yksmom
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 10:35 PM
Everyone has a breaking point. If you can't deal with it anymore, so be it.
AllAboutAmaya
by Silver Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:05 PM
I went through the same thing with my Rx bff TWICE. I understand how you feel, it sucks seeing your friend get hurt and used while they seem completely oblivious to you. If you feel like you can't stick around while she brings herself down then so be it. You cant force her to realize that this guy isn't worth a crap, she has to figure it out herself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 16, 2014 at 1:09 PM

I think the worst part is she keeps saying "please don't do this to me! We have been through so much and now you're leaving me" She says it like she's the only one hurting right now.  I practically cried myself to sleep last night and then she sends those messages and I got so upset...and in front of my DD. 

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