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8 year old told my 3 year old to "ride your bike down the hill really fast and crash"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 39 Replies
Alright, a little backstory. I babysit an 8 year old boy before school every day. He and my son (7) are friends. To be honest, I don't really like this kid. The only reason I watch him is because I am friends with his mom and doing her a favor. She does pay me. The reason I don't like him is because he's just not a nice kid. He's rude to my 3 year old, he back talks me at times (this has improved recently when I told his mom), he lacks basic manners like saying please and thank you, or answering someone when they speak to you. He has no developmental delays...

Here's my problem...all the boys (my 7 & 3 year old and the 8 year old I watch) were outside playing before school and my 3yo was squeaking the horn on his bicycle repeatedly. The 8yo told him to stop, my son didn't stop, and so he told him "Why don't you ride your bike down the hill really fast and crash!?"

I said "Did you just tell him to go crash his bike?" He didn't say anything, just looked at me. I said "That was rude! Why would you say that?" He just said "I don't know".

This happened two weeks ago, the last time he was at my house because my son got a bad stomach bug and missed 2 weeks of school. So today, he came back, and I was still livid about what he said to my son so I asked him if he remembered saying that and of course he said no....i just told him that we don't say things like that to people and that he especially can't say that to my 3 year old because he's little and might actually do it. He just put his head down and said nothing

After that, I thought I should tell his mom so she could also have a talk with him. So I did, and she said "DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HIM, OR DO YOU THINK HE'S OKAY?"

Are you kidding me? Are you asking me if you should parent your child? YES I WANT YOU TO TALK TO HIM! HE TOLD MY SON TO GO HURT HIMSELF BECAUSE HE WAS ANNOYED WITH HIM! YES, I THINK A CONVERSATION SHOULD BE HAD! GRRRR

I ended up telling her that it's up to her how she handles her child. I said my peace to him and don't think it will happen again....however, if my child said something like this to a 3 year old there would be more than just a conversation. He would be punished.

Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go? Should I tell his mom how I really feel? What upsets me most is that she doesn't take the time to teach her child appropriate behavior and I'm the one who suffers for it. She babies the hell out of him and in her eyes he's her little cuddly baby boy who loves Jesus and could never do wrong...

I'm so aggravated! Help!.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:14 PM
1 mom liked this

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thetrollcat
by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:16 PM

Your house your rules punish the damn kid. If your friend dont like it, she can find a new babysitter.

lenashark
by Emerald Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, you're overreacting. No, he shouldn't have said that, but hes eight, he lost his temper and said something that he didn't mean. Children are learning, they don't fully grasp the consequences of everything they do. Should he get a talking to and have to sit out for a while? Yes. Should you be bringing it up to him two weeks later out of nowhere and guilting him about it and expecting his mother to continue to bring it up to him two weeks later even though he hasn't shown any signs of doing it again and has shown remorse for what he said? No. He shouldn't have been rude to your son, your son shouldn't have been rude to him (though it seems there was no consequence for that), its over. Unless he says something like that again, let it go. 

ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:20 PM
Why didn't you tell her what he said 2 weeks ago when he said it... Why bring it back up now... He probably honestly didn't remember saying it after 2 weeks... Should she have punished him... When it happened... absolutely. Now?... Um ...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:22 PM

Kids can be assholes. And say stupid things. Boys especially. Why didn't ur 7 yr old stick up for his brother..? You're totally being too sensitive about this. 

Shy_Dia
by Emerald Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:22 PM
This.

And how are you mad about it, 2 weeks later? Holy grudge holder! Let it go.


Quoting lenashark:

Yes, you're overreacting. No, he shouldn't have said that, but hes eight, he lost his temper and said something that he didn't mean. Children are learning, they don't fully grasp the consequences of everything they do. Should he get a talking to and have to sit out for a while? Yes. Should you be bringing it up to him two weeks later out of nowhere and guilting him about it and expecting his mother to continue to bring it up to him two weeks later even though he hasn't shown any signs of doing it again and has shown remorse for what he said? No. He shouldn't have been rude to your son, your son shouldn't have been rude to him (though it seems there was no consequence for that), its over. Unless he says something like that again, let it go. 

yorkiemum
by Platinum Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:23 PM
You are very much over reacting
petie1104
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:24 PM

If you find yourself angry at an 8 year old 2 weeks after an incident that led to no one being hurt or killed, then yes, you are overreacting. 

stef1976
by on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:24 PM

I wouldn't say you over reacted if you had said something 2 weeks ago. I understand your son was sick but children need disciplined when their behavior is unacceptable not when you get home or in your case 2 weeks after the fact.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:25 PM
because I wanted to handle it first bc I knew if I told her and said nothing to him she wouldn't do anything..and as predicted...she did nothing. The only reason I told her now is because I want her to know what goes on here whenever he does something shitty. I really don't think she should punish him now, but I think she needs to do something! A serious conversation? A conversation about expectations. About appropriate behavior...something

Quoting ditsyjo: Why didn't you tell her what he said 2 weeks ago when he said it... Why bring it back up now... He probably honestly didn't remember saying it after 2 weeks... Should she have punished him... When it happened... absolutely. Now?... Um ...
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