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My Confession: I Lie About My Life

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 48 Replies

I lie about my life to everyone....on here, in real life. I act like my life is amazing but the reality is I hate it. Almost every second of it. 

I have severe anxiety. I am able to cover it up most times but I rarely leave the house. I allow others to believe I don't have gas for my vehicle or I have other plans but the reality is my home is the safest place for me to be. I moved across the street from my kids school. I did this because I don't trust having them miles away from me. I have 5. None have ever been with a baby sitter or daycare. My anxiety is so bad I've been determined to be legally disabled. My therapist says she's worried my anxiety is turning into a form of agoraphobia. Realistically this may be true but my fear isn't dictated by logic.

On here I say I am married. I'm not. As a matter of fact I am currently 'seperated' from my so. We still live together but we aren't a couple. 

I have no friends. I have a hard time maintaining relationships like that. It requires a type of commitment that I just don't have in me. I don't know why. I want friends. Cafe Mom is the only socialization I get but even this site can be too much for me sometimes. I'll be on every day for some time then have to withdraw and take a break for a month or so.

I try so hard to act like everything is normal in my life. No one knows I am legally disabled but my so. I act like I contribute to the household finances by working from home. No...I receive disability. My shame for the way my life turned out is matched by the anxiety I feel with any little change. 

I hate my life. The only thing within it that makes living something I can endure is my children.

That is my confession.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:39 PM
1 mom liked this
What about anxiety medicine?
brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Im sorry you are suffering.  If therapy isnt working maybe you need to try a different form?

KendallsMommee
by Spoiled SAHM on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:43 PM
2 moms liked this
How'd you pull off getting disability for anxiety?

Hell, I should be getting paid big time.

I AM agoraphobic.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:45 PM
I know some of your anxiety. I am not anticipating moving to a new school system, but it must be done. I have to do it so my family will be in a better place. Hang in there look for the good in everything.
TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:45 PM
Change your life. Start today. You do not have to live this miserable way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:46 PM
Sara1989?
lucydiamond
by LD on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Mobile Photo

Hi Jenna.
lucydiamond
by LD on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:46 PM
Just kidding. I skimmed it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:50 PM
Are you a well known member?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2014 at 11:52 PM

no...

Quoting Anonymous 4: Sara1989?


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