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He's cheating- and I'm not doing anything.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 36 Replies
1 mom liked this

it started about a month ago. He started coming home later and later. spending less and less time at home. Then he stopped wanting to have sex. the last two weekss he has been home after 1 am 3-4 times a week always with some lame excuse or a seriously elaborate story. When we went out for our anniversary he was on his phone messaging someone at least 2x an hour- all the time claiming it was work related. then Sat he left the house at 6 am (and he is NOT a morning person) and didn't come back until 3 pm. Then he wanted to go out again by himself.

He lost his wedding ring and then magically "found it" again the night after he was out until 1 am. in a place I had already thoroughly searched.

I got suspicious. so, I checked his phone while he was in the shower. he is messaging inappropriate things to his assistant. she is HOT and thin and young and I am no longer any of those things.

The sick thing is that I WANT to do something about it, but I can't imagine my life without him. I don't know what my kids would do without him. My entire lifestyle, home life, and every thing would change. I'm afraid that I might lose custody of my kids because I was IN a psychiatric hospital this year after attempting suicide. I'm afraid that if I do leave, I will sink even lower into my depression. that I may self harm again. I am so afraid.

so instead of doing anything I've decided to pretend to believe him. To pretend like I really think his week-long "business trip" this month to NY is a business trip. especially when his little message to his whore was about how he couldn't wait to hold her "all night long."

God. I am pathetic.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:52 AM
1 mom liked this
Girl you should do something. Life might not be easy in the beginning, but once you have established everything you need, you will be glad you did. Don't let him do this to you. Stand up for yourself! Would you ever want your kids to be in your situation and just sit there?

And what if he decides to leave you? What back up plan do you have?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:59 AM

but what if he gets my kids because of my mental health status? where will I be then?

Quoting Anonymous 2: Girl you should do something. Life might not be easy in the beginning, but once you have established everything you need, you will be glad you did. Don't let him do this to you. Stand up for yourself! Would you ever want your kids to be in your situation and just sit there? And what if he decides to leave you? What back up plan do you have?


MajesticHorse
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:02 AM
Yeah that is definately tricky.

Why don't you tell him you know and that its ok but just beg him to let you have the kids?

Or that might backfire?

Quoting Anonymous 1:

but what if he gets my kids because of my mental health status? where will I be then?

Quoting Anonymous 2: Girl you should do something. Life might not be easy in the beginning, but once you have established everything you need, you will be glad you did. Don't let him do this to you. Stand up for yourself! Would you ever want your kids to be in your situation and just sit there?

And what if he decides to leave you? What back up plan do you have?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:03 AM
When you leave him and start to better your life, your health will get better. I would use that as your defense. He is the reason you are suicidal. Unless you think your kids would be safer in his care?

Quoting Anonymous 1:

but what if he gets my kids because of my mental health status? where will I be then?

Quoting Anonymous 2: Girl you should do something. Life might not be easy in the beginning, but once you have established everything you need, you will be glad you did. Don't let him do this to you. Stand up for yourself! Would you ever want your kids to be in your situation and just sit there?

And what if he decides to leave you? What back up plan do you have?

MajesticHorse
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:03 AM
I also like your idea of pretending not to know while you think of a better plan.
ballerina18
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:04 AM
1 mom liked this

It's your life.

Just know that you have options. If you need to pretend things are okay while you learn about your options then that is okay as well. It's time for you to take charge and decide what you want out of life. Talk to a therapist, social worker, lawyer (ect...) just know that you DO have options and plenty of choices to make. It is NOT okay for anyone to make you feel like less of a person! Don't allow anyone else to make your life choices for you.

Good luck!

MajesticHorse
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:05 AM
She means that in court when they are deciding who gets the kids they take mental health very seriously.. She really could lose custody.

Quoting Anonymous 2: When you leave him and start to better your life, your health will get better. I would use that as your defense. He is the reason you are suicidal. Unless you think your kids would be safer in his care?

Quoting Anonymous 1:

but what if he gets my kids because of my mental health status? where will I be then?

Quoting Anonymous 2: Girl you should do something. Life might not be easy in the beginning, but once you have established everything you need, you will be glad you did. Don't let him do this to you. Stand up for yourself! Would you ever want your kids to be in your situation and just sit there?

And what if he decides to leave you? What back up plan do you have?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:05 AM
I caught my husband cheating and offered an open marriage. 9 years is too much to throw away. I don't want him to leave but I want my fun too
rockermom_L0ve
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:07 AM

Mobile Photo

Gurl w all due respect r u stuped or sumthn... Like u shud kick his ass rn, dats wat i wud do if i was standin in ur shoes
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:08 AM
1 mom liked this
That is a worry of mine too, but my attempts were at least 11 years ago

Quoting MajesticHorse: She means that in court when they are deciding who gets the kids they take mental health very seriously.. She really could lose custody.

Quoting Anonymous 2: When you leave him and start to better your life, your health will get better. I would use that as your defense. He is the reason you are suicidal. Unless you think your kids would be safer in his care?

Quoting Anonymous 1:

but what if he gets my kids because of my mental health status? where will I be then?

Quoting Anonymous 2: Girl you should do something. Life might not be easy in the beginning, but once you have established everything you need, you will be glad you did. Don't let him do this to you. Stand up for yourself! Would you ever want your kids to be in your situation and just sit there?

And what if he decides to leave you? What back up plan do you have?

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