Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My friend is a horrible mother!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies
Sorry, this a long one....When we met she about 6 months pregnant with what I thought at the time was her first child. She was new to the neighborhood and once she knew I had kids, she had tons of questions. I didn't find out about her other 4 children until the baby was almost one and I realized she had a bunch of names tattooed on her. Of course she had a tragic story for why none of her other kids were with her and I believed her at the time. 3 years later a situation erupted between her and get mother which resulted in her regaining her oldes and that's when our relationship started to go downhill. It occurred to me that reason she is a mother of five that asks questions like a new mother is because she had never raised any of her children. She has them and just passed them when it gets too hard or the relationship wIth the father ends. The ODD has some serious emotional and mental issues because of her mother abandoning her and continuing to have other children while never coming back for her. Now that they are finally together, the mother focuses all her time and attention on the now 4 y.o which is causing the ODD to act out in school in an attempt to get some kind of attention. The mother now feels like she's too much to handle and has sent her off to a residential school. All the alternative options proposed by the school and the daughter's therapist were never tried because the mother "didn't feel like". I went to more family therapy sessions then she did and even took the girl in under my roof for almost a year. Not to mention, the younger daughter is a spoiled, hard-headed, little brat. She's not even potty trained yet. It's becoming unbearable to even talk to her. We went trick or treating together as we have fir the past few years and that was my first time being around her since she sent the older off. Just watching her play mother of the year with the younger one just makes my blood boil.
I still love her and her children. I don't want to cut her off because she doesn't have any other friends and her husband is no help but she never takes my advice. How do you remain friends with someone who is a crappy mom?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:31 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:34 AM
1 mom liked this
At least she makes great choices in friends.
shivasgirl
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:34 AM

you either shut up and accept her the way she is or you distance yourself....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:36 AM
How can I just "shut up" when she's continuing to emotionally damage her child

Quoting shivasgirl:

you either shut up and accept her the way she is or you distance yourself....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this
My old BFF was a bad mom and we now talk 1-2 times a year. I would rather spend my time with my dh and kids. So here's a bump.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this
Yeah thing is... I dont remain friends with someone who is a crappy mom. I dont need that drama in mine and my childs life.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

She sounds like a horrible mother AND a horrible person. This won't be the last child she has. She will keep popping them out as long as men are willing to sleep with her, regardless if she can and will support them. I couldn't a wouldn't be around such a person. Even Bundy had his good qualities.

shivasgirl
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

you said yourself she wont listen to you. If she is in a residental treatment center already I can assure you the kid is more damaged than the mother can fix with love and cuddles. If you have a problem (and I think you SHOULD have a problem) with the way your friend is behaving, for your own sanity you need to move on. You will not be able to fix your friend or her kids, and if you cant just shut up and accept, it will damage you.

Quoting Anonymous 1: How can I just "shut up" when she's continuing to emotionally damage her child
Quoting shivasgirl:

you either shut up and accept her the way she is or you distance yourself....


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:51 AM
You speak the truth. I choose to stick around because I don't want the older daughter to feel like everyone has abandoned her. She was living with me but the mother took her back because she felt like I was "trying to out-mother" her and the daughter was ruining our friendship. Now she won't let me talk to her unless it's through her. I call her my baby mama because she's such a pain to deal with. She thinks it's funny

Quoting shivasgirl:

you said yourself she wont listen to you. If she is in a residental treatment center already I can assure you the kid is more damaged than the mother can fix with love and cuddles. If you have a problem (and I think you SHOULD have a problem) with the way your friend is behaving, for your own sanity you need to move on. You will not be able to fix your friend or her kids, and if you cant just shut up and accept, it will damage you.

Quoting Anonymous 1: How can I just "shut up" when she's continuing to emotionally damage her child

Quoting shivasgirl:

you either shut up and accept her the way she is or you distance yourself....

DarksMama
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this
Drop her. If you get truly sucked in, you're not getting out. There's nothing you can do. Just walk away from her common ass and save yourself and your kids seeing that hot mess daily.
shivasgirl
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this

well, now that the older dd is gone, you should probably start distancing yourself. You have to protect yourself now

Quoting Anonymous 1: You speak the truth. I choose to stick around because I don't want the older daughter to feel like everyone has abandoned her. She was living with me but the mother took her back because she felt like I was "trying to out-mother" her and the daughter was ruining our friendship. Now she won't let me talk to her unless it's through her. I call her my baby mama because she's such a pain to deal with. She thinks it's funny
Quoting shivasgirl:

you said yourself she wont listen to you. If she is in a residental treatment center already I can assure you the kid is more damaged than the mother can fix with love and cuddles. If you have a problem (and I think you SHOULD have a problem) with the way your friend is behaving, for your own sanity you need to move on. You will not be able to fix your friend or her kids, and if you cant just shut up and accept, it will damage you.

Quoting Anonymous 1: How can I just "shut up" when she's continuing to emotionally damage her child
Quoting shivasgirl:

you either shut up and accept her the way she is or you distance yourself....


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)