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What is an appropriate punishment for.... *Edited*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 33 Replies

Flirting with a girl to the point of leaving your saxophone at the bus stop and not realizing it for 2 hours?

My 11 year old seems to have lost it. He has a crush on a girl who spent her Halloween grounded so he wanted to give her almost ALL his candy. We limited him to a baggie full and discussed how girls cannot be bought. My sophomore daughter and junior son even joined in the conversation. Then today the kid calls and says I was busy talking to X and left my saxophone on the playground (his bus stop is at a park). Luckily his saxophone was still there and I have it. We're a love and logic family so I'm not taking it to him. He'll have to take a 0 today in concert band with their first concert of the year on Thursday but other than that, I'm at a loss with this one.

Goodness this kid is only in the 6th grade! (Going to be 12 next month) and so full of testosterone it's not even funny!


EDIT: I understand those saying the 0 would be punishment enough, really I do. And if he'd left it here at home - absolutely! It's been a good 7 years since I've taken a homework assignment, glasses or forgotten lunch to one of my kids. Natural consequences. Sometimes though an additional consequence IS needed.

Some people have asked "Haven't you forgotten anything?" Of course, everyone does but have I forgotten a $2,000 item in a public place that is required in order to pursue something of my own interests? No - absolutely not. I'm a photographer - I do not leave my camera at parks or my lenses or flashes. I do not leave them at bus stops or venues or anywhere else. When I was in 6th grade, I did not leave my flute at the bus stop or on the bus or anywhere else. Might I have forgotten at home? Maybe but I don't think so - I don't remember ever leaving it anywhere (then again that was 24 YEARS ago...lol) but I do know I never left it at a bus stop or the park or anywhere that wasn't a locked car, locker or my home. 

Think of it like a laptop or kindle that your child HAD to have for a class and then left it at the bus stop, near the swings, on the frost covered wood chips. Would you punish you're almost 12 year old? Most likely! Luckily it was still there but what if it wasn't? What if it had been a rental and I had to replace it AND get another for his classwork? See it IS a big deal........

Another mom had a great suggestion that we'll be using: 

myshoes: Hmm, I see where you are coming from. My son is in 8th and he definitely has my OC personality when it comes to girls. I might require that he practice his sax for the amount of time (it took me to get it) + (he missed during school today). And, if it worked in my schedule, I would drive him to school the rest of week so he doesn't have the opportunity to see her in the mornings (when he became distracted). 
But I would use that time in the car talking about how proud I am of him telling me the truth as to why he forgot it. And talking about appropriate behavior with and treatment of girls.

There was more to her reply and you're welcome to read it on page 3 I believe. He's 11 (6 weeks shy of 12 years old) and in the 6th grade. With that comes hormones, attitude, etc. I'm aware of that. We've already been through it with his older brother and sister and we will hit this stage two more times with his younger sisters but that's not an excuse for leaving something that you value behind to disappear. Considering he's in the GT music program at his school (he already plays the drums very well and is beyond where his capabilities SHOULD be with the saxophone) there is a value to him and at his age, he needs to develop a sense of ownership for his things. So no, just a 0 for class participation today really will not have the necessary impact.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2014 at 10:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:00 AM

 Totally sounds like something my son Steven would do. I could have written this post.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:01 AM
It seems like in 2nd grade, I'm starting to hear about crushes. Nothing serious of course, but prior to this, boys had cooties.
blue-heart
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this
If my son left his trumpet at the bus stop he would be grounded for a week minimum.
thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:02 AM

Not something Id punish for. If it eventually became a habit, he wouldnt be in band anymore.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:04 AM
How would you handle this?

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 Totally sounds like something my son Steven would do. I could have written this post.

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:04 AM

I think since it is a first offense, I'd just let that be that.  He took a 0 for the day and probably got a lot of ribbing from his friends.

If it happens again, I'd step it up with making him be more responsible.  Maybe make him polish the thing until it's perfect in every crack and crevice.

PPCLC
by AZ Lizard on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:04 AM
1 mom liked this

If this was his first mistake as far as leaving that instrument somewhere, I wouldn't punish him were this my child. The stress of knowing he possibly lost that instrument would be enough for me.

Were it to happen again, different story.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:04 AM
What was your punishment the last time you forgot something?
Kids are going to forget things, it's human. One time would be a non issue. I would remind him the importance of paying attention and taking care of their things then move on. I would take it to him.
If it was something he kept doing than I would not take it to him and hope facing the consequence in school would teach him a lesson.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Flirting with a girl to the point of leaving your saxophone at the bus stop and not realizing it for 2 hours?

My 11 year old seems to have lost it. He has a crush on a girl who spent her Halloween grounded so he wanted to give her almost ALL his candy. We limited him to a baggie full and discussed how girls cannot be bought. My sophomore daughter and junior son even joined in the conversation. Then today the kid calls and says I was busy talking to X and left my saxophone on the playground (his bus stop is at a park). Luckily his saxophone was still there and I have it. We're a love and logic family so I'm not taking it to him. He'll have to take a 0 today in concert band with their first concert of the year on Thursday but other than that, I'm at a loss with this one.

Goodness this kid is only in the 6th grade! (Going to be 12 next month) and so full of testosterone it's not even funny!
PoplarGrove
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Getting a 0 in band and feeling like an idiot is probably punishment enough lol.  

He's full of hormones and not thinking straight. (better he screw up now than when he's older and it really affects his life) .  Im sure if his older siblings find out that he was so caught up witha girl he forgot his sax they'll more than punish him with the teasing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:05 AM
Crushes in 2nd grade are easy compared to hormone fueled ones....lol

Quoting Anonymous 2: It seems like in 2nd grade, I'm starting to hear about crushes. Nothing serious of course, but prior to this, boys had cooties.
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