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Is it ok for organized sports and organized group activities to be the only form of socializing for my 12 year old son??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

My son is 12.   Other than school, my son is social only with organized sports & youth group @ church.  Of course the occasional birthday party.  He plays with the large group of neighbor kids (there is always adult sepervision.)  I prefer for my son to be involved in groups rather than hanging out with one or two kids.   I don't say yes very often to sleep overs either.  I don't like  one on one play dates.  Am I stunting my child?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:43 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Mrs_Snail
by Bronze Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:46 PM
I don't like sleep overs too.
lenashark
by Emerald Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, you are stunting him by not allowing one on one play dates. Friendships are beneficial to child development. 

A_McCool
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:50 PM

I was that way by choice as a kid.  I had no interest in socializing outside of those activities; however, I think if the child desires closer/one on one friendships it would wrong to deny him that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:57 PM

 

Quoting lenashark:

Yes, you are stunting him by not allowing one on one play dates. Friendships are beneficial to child development. 

 Hi is not a child...he is 12.  Yes, of course he had playdates, etc...those friends as pre schoolers are part of these groups.  I am referring to this age level "12"  I think trouble lurks with a small group 0f 3-4.  I feel there is more accountability while being part of a team or a group, having a purpose for the the spent together.  

lenashark
by Emerald Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:12 PM


Quoting Anonymous 1:


Quoting lenashark:

Yes, you are stunting him by not allowing one on one play dates. Friendships are beneficial to child development. 

 Hi is not a child...he is 12.  Yes, of course he had playdates, etc...those friends as pre schoolers are part of these groups.  I am referring to this age level "12"  I think trouble lurks with a small group 0f 3-4.  I feel there is more accountability while being part of a team or a group, having a purpose for the the spent together.  

12 is a child. He is not an adult or even a teenager. Its not healthy to never have unorganized time with his peers, just to hang out without a specific purpose and to have a one on one bond, not just being part of a group. 

razorbackfan
by BadgerMom on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:16 PM
You need to let him start growing up. 12 years old is still a child. Like one poster said he isn't a teeanger or an adult. I let my dd spend the night with friends or go to their houses. He needs to have time to spend wit just certain friends doing things boys do. Let him go and be a kid.
highlandmum
by Spunky on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:21 PM

 I am big on children/teens having close friends.  Mine are all involved in team sports, but they also have some very close friends.  Your child is not close with the entire team, there will be some children on the team that he really is not a big fan of.  Teams are beneficial because they make teammates understand the differences in each player.

He really needs to develop close friendships with a few that will last a lifetime.

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