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4 yo & potty training...I need help

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 39 Replies
I'm so frustrated with this.
I know this sounds terrible, but my 4 yo dd is not potty trained pooping in the toilet. She pees in it just fine at home, while we're out, at school...She's got it down. She has had that down for quite a while now.
But she just turned 4 a month ago and STILL won't poop in the potty. I feel like I've tried a number of things to get her to do this.

I've sat with her while she's on the toilet, sometimes for an hour or more, she won't go. I've tried candy and toys as incentives...hasn't worked. I've tried encouraging. I've even shown her poop in the toilet and described that that's where it goes. We've watched potty training videos together, I've read her books. Sigh.

She'll poop in her pants or on the floor. At one point I even resorted back to diapers, but I don't want my 4 year old wearing diapers. If she poops in her pants, while I'm cleaning her up, she hides her face. Like she's embarrassed about it. She's been pooping on the floor in hidden spots like in her closet.

I've tried scolding her for going on the floor. I've tried brushing it off and telling her she'll get it next time. I've asked her why she does it with no response. I've had her pick it up and put it in the toilet. I've even had her clean it up herself, hoping she would find it gross and not want to do it again. Nope, she enjoyed cleaning it.

Tonight, she came to me and told me she pooped in the potty. Of course I got excited and praised her. She said happily, "I did it!". We went to look together, no poop in there. I went into her room... There's poop on the floor. She cleaned it up. Now she's lying about it!

I just don't know what to do anymore. Anyone have any advice for me?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lollip0p
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:19 PM

I have no idea but I'm going to be potty training my dd soon so interested in this thread!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:21 PM
it's a common problem for some kids. she'll do it when she's ready.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:25 PM
1 mom liked this
It's totally common BUT, at 4, she now gets to clean up the entire mess all by herself! Keep at it.

Do not scold, do not shame. "Honey, you are a big girl and poop goes in the potty. Any accidents you have will be your job to clean up." Then explain the process. When she has an accident stay completely neutral. If she doesn't follow your cleaning instructions, gently remind her but don't help her. Make it tedious and undesirable. Sanitize everything after she's gone, lol.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:27 PM
...Another suggestion is a sticker chart. Find something she REALLY wants and have her earn it...
fullxbusymom
by Sapphire Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:32 PM

I would have her clean it up each and everytime.  Though lying would get her punished. 

Have you tried putting her in a diaper with the back cut off and then place her on the toilet?  Sometimes they are more secure thinking they are pooping in a diaper.  This may work for her especially if she poops around the same time every day.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:32 PM
That's pretty much what we did tonight. She seemed to be enjoying herself, though. I guess it wasn't bad enough i don't know. She hates things being dirty. I sure wish we didn't have carpet. Ugh

Quoting Anonymous 3: It's totally common BUT, at 4, she now gets to clean up the entire mess all by herself! Keep at it. Do not scold, do not shame. "Honey, you are a big girl and poop goes in the potty. Any accidents you have will be your job to clean up." Then explain the process. When she has an accident stay completely neutral. If she doesn't follow your cleaning instructions, gently remind her but don't help her. Make it tedious and undesirable. Sanitize everything after she's gone, lol.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:36 PM
Omg ewwww! Im so glad my dd never had issues potty training. I think it was because she was afraid to go on herself or the floor so she has never made any accidents haha. Gl finding something that will work! Maybe time is the answer...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:40 PM
No, I haven't done that. I've never even thought to do that. I think I'll try that with her tomorrow. I'll try almost anything at this point lol

Quoting fullxbusymom:

I would have her clean it up each and everytime.  Though lying would get her punished. 

Have you tried putting her in a diaper with the back cut off and then place her on the toilet?  Sometimes they are more secure thinking they are pooping in a diaper.  This may work for her especially if she poops around the same time every day.

JenGo
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:42 PM

Make sure she cleans up everything herself. You can be there watching her, but all the work/cleaning of what she has messed on, including herself, needs to be done by her.
The idea is that she will eventually get annoyed of having to do the nasty cleaning work herself and find that it's easier/quicker for her to just use the potty.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:47 PM

This exactly. My daughter was almost 5 when she finally started doing it because I stuck with this. It was a really long battle potty training her. I was pregnant with my 2nd child and there was no way I was doing diapers for 2. Right after I had my son she finally started going in the potty. It was a huge blessing. My son potty trained in 2 months shortly after he turned 3. It was a million times easier with him. I swear the first is the hardest. Stick to your guns and try this.

Quoting Anonymous 3: It's totally common BUT, at 4, she now gets to clean up the entire mess all by herself! Keep at it. Do not scold, do not shame. "Honey, you are a big girl and poop goes in the potty. Any accidents you have will be your job to clean up." Then explain the process. When she has an accident stay completely neutral. If she doesn't follow your cleaning instructions, gently remind her but don't help her. Make it tedious and undesirable. Sanitize everything after she's gone, lol.


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