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Upset and Worried

Posted by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 5:27 PM
  • 5 Replies

My XH and I split up a little over a year ago. When we split, he told me that while my oldest daughter isn't his, he would still be there for her as well as the daughter I had with him. At first when he moved out and was staying across town, he kept his word and spent time with both girls.

Since he moved to Oregon due to a job transfer, he doesn't talk to my oldest or see her when he comes to town. The last two times he's come up, he's only taken DD2 and not DD7. DD7 is so upset, she feels like XH doesn't love her anymore. She's angry and taking it out on me and her sister. I'm so worried about her, she seems so depressed. I have tried spending special time with her, talking to her and nothing is working. She hits me and is disrespectful, hits her sister and doesn't want to do any of her chores. I have taken toys and privledges. I am working on getting her into counseling. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to at very least get her to stop being physical with me and her sister?

by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 5:27 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Hannahluvsdogs
by Keyser Söze on Nov. 8, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Give her a pillow to take out her aggression on and discipline her if she continues to hit people instead of the pillow. Not a long-term solution but it will help until she can work through her issues in counseling.

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Nov. 8, 2014 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Lashing out isn't acceptable. I get that you want to comfort her, but be firm. Hitting you and her sister isn't ok and ____ will happen if she does it.

DS's iPad would be a point of leverage if we were in this situation. I'd confiscate it for hitting and make him earn it back. Your DD has something she values, use it.
TheRingmaster
by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 5:39 PM
Violence is a sign of internalized rage.... she's going for the easiest target. I highly recommend therapy. Family therapy and individual. I really hope this gets better. I am so sorry she and you are going through this.
MelDyann
by Silver Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 5:42 PM
Does she have a relationship with her father? I would get her counseling.
lilyrose842006
by Lily & Audrey's Mom on Nov. 8, 2014 at 5:50 PM

She had a wonderful relationship with XH. She has no relationship with her biofather (his choice). I am working on getting her into counseling. There are steps I have to take with our insurance and getting a referral from her Pediatrician is one of them and they are booked solid for a month. We have an appointment after Thanksgiving.

Quoting MelDyann: Does she have a relationship with her father? I would get her counseling.


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