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cousins constantly fighting

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
My son is 9, his cousin is 5.

They are always arguing over one thing or another. She calls him stupid, he tattles on her. He won't let her play the game, she tattles on him. She says the F word, time to go tell. He tries to tell her what to do, how to behave, etc (tells her to take care of her plate, pick up your toys, etc- simple but the tone is like "I'm older, you're young, I'm better therefore you shall listen and bow down to me")

So then she says, you aren't my family. My mamaw is only mine, not yours, we're not cousins... which hurts my son bc other than us three, he has no one else (the entire 'family' consists of me, my son, his cousin and their grandmother. That's it. No father for him, no parents for her, no outside/extended family).

i know they have a 4 year age gap. They see each other every other weekend (when i take her) and at least once a week.

I think my son is kinda sad that he can't stay at his grandmother's. She's never asked and i don't feel right having one of us asking... but there's that disconnect. Like maybe I'm not family since you live with her and I don't.

Idk. How do I get them to just stop arguing and telling on each other and getting them to work it out themselves?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:06 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:09 AM
Duct tape them together. Lol. I have no idea, but when you figure it out, let me know. My DD's fight constantly too.
Leissaintexas
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:14 AM
They both need to be taught manners. Having respect for other people starts with family.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:15 AM
It's so... GAHH! lol ds is a 3rd grade mentor to the kindergarters (right around her age), and it's just high remarks from both sets of teachers and principal. A few of his friends have younger siblings (one is 9, and has a 3, 4, 6 and 7 year old brothers). THEIR mom is always saying how she LOVES having ds over bc he's such a good kid, gets all the siblings involved in whatever they are playing, making sure no one is left out and she gets her cleaning done lol

Its like why can't you be the same way with your cousin? I don't wanna hear that she called you stupid, explain that it's not a nice word and continue with whatever you're doing, just like those other kids. Ugh.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Duct tape them together. Lol. I have no idea, but when you figure it out, let me know. My DD's fight constantly too.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:19 AM
I agree. Ds is such a jackle and Hyde personality. Everyone else (kindergarters that he mentors at school, younger siblings of his friends), he's so nice, kind, respectful, etc. High remarks from all the adults- parents, teachers, principal. As he gets into higher grades, they think he'll be a good candidate for peer mediation.

But with her? Such a little child. It's like he reverts back to her age... or younger since even at 5, he knew when to tell and when to handle it himself.

Don't get me wrong. There are times he's like that with her. This morning, he got her her breakfast, was really nice. But then a switch happens and Mr Nice Guy is MIA.

Quoting Leissaintexas: They both need to be taught manners. Having respect for other people starts with family.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:28 AM
Chores. When my kids get like that, I'll send them out to pull weeds. Better yet, give them a chore they have to work together to accomplish.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:29 AM
My girls are the same. I always get such awesome remarks about how good and helpful they are...but at home they can not get along with each other.

I'm pretty sure it's because she's family, he loves her and feels comfortable with her...and at home he's in his "comfort zone". At least that's what I tell myself! Lol

Quoting Anonymous 1: It's so... GAHH! lol ds is a 3rd grade mentor to the kindergarters (right around her age), and it's just high remarks from both sets of teachers and principal. A few of his friends have younger siblings (one is 9, and has a 3, 4, 6 and 7 year old brothers). THEIR mom is always saying how she LOVES having ds over bc he's such a good kid, gets all the siblings involved in whatever they are playing, making sure no one is left out and she gets her cleaning done lol

Its like why can't you be the same way with your cousin? I don't wanna hear that she called you stupid, explain that it's not a nice word and continue with whatever you're doing, just like those other kids. Ugh.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Duct tape them together. Lol. I have no idea, but when you figure it out, let me know. My DD's fight constantly too.
Roo1234
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:33 AM
I found that praise always went farther than punishment. With our kids I would catch them being good and kind to each other and reward it, a lot at first, less so as time went on always randomly and unpredictably. Since they never knew when it might happen, they worked at it more often than not. It made a huge and long lasting change in the nature of the relationships
Patti-Gee
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:34 AM


  My son and nephew did not get along as children, and still don't as adults.  My nephew was either saying nasty things to him or smacking him.  

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