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Birth plans are stupid

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies

The craziest birth plan I've ever seen, I had a patient request that images of rainbows be hung all over the labor room so she could visualize herself transcending through the different color levels when she was experiencing pain. She also asked that the nurse massage her clitoris during her contractions. Said nurse's response was, understandably, "(expletive) no! There is no way I'm going to sit in there and rub that woman's (expletive)!" Needless to say, that was a pretty hysterical day.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MamaCrowley
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:28 AM

I must be living under a rock but what the hell is a birth plan?

mrjjmt
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:29 AM
I agree.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:31 AM
1 mom liked this
Thats crazy. I don't agree that birth pans are stupid though, I would never want forceps or a vaccum being used on mychild, doctors have to respext that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:31 AM
The nurse didn't want to go the extra mile? Lol. Did you at least let her baby daddy do the clit massage honors?
AppleJaxx
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:32 AM
I was just irritated that in the birthing class them told us to write one up so I did, spent a good two hours at least researching ans talking with my husband. Yhen I left it in the car... And I didn't need it anyways because my ob believed in as little intervention as possible.

Now I know, If you have a good relationship with your ob a birth plan isn't needed

That rainbow thing is just odd... And the clit thing... What the hell???
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:33 AM
It's good to have a general idea of how you want it to go, but some women are downright crazy. And lose their minds when it inevitably doesn't go their way.
PawneeMom
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:34 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree. Literally the only plan I had was to get to the fucking hospital and give birth to my kid. That was it. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:34 AM
I always figured a birth plan would go out the window in the moment so...
lucydiamond
by LD on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:34 AM
1 mom liked this
Lmao. I'm a doula and I would totally put up rainbows for any of my mamas. I usually stay away from clitorises though.
hopemcc411
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:35 AM
I had a very simple one but I ended up with an emergency c section at 33 weeks so that went out the window.
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