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I am a broken, surviving mess of a woman and I have never dealt with my pain.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
Honestly. I don't have any surface pain.
But everyone seems to think I do, and my mother says my life will never be good until I deal with my "pain".
Here's my story, in the short version.

Born to a crack head.
Abandoned with bby sister at 6.
Adopted by church going family

Molested by adoptive brother at 6 1/2-7 yrs
Adoptive mom.found out, moved older brother (who was 16 out to a family members home) put me in christian counseling.

Adoptive father starts molesting me at 8 yrs old. Grooms me slowly before at 9, he began to have sex with me. Gentle, disgusting sex.

Continues to molest and have sexual intercourse with me for 4 years. I was not close to my adopted mother. She was physically abusive because I was such a troubled child. According to her. She hated me, loved my baby sister. She couldn't have kids and thats why.

Adoptive mother reads my journals. Finds out. Takes me to police station. Dad goes to jail.
I was 12.

**sorry that was a lot. I needed to tell someone.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MomToYoungerSis
by Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:56 AM

What a life....how old are u now??  No child or person should ever suffer thru things like this....I was molested also from 4/5-8 by my 4 1/2 yr. older brother, but nothing like u.....I'm here if you'd like to chat...is your Dad still in jail??....what's your story since childhood?? :)

BalderdashMom
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:00 AM
You might be fine without actually allowing yourself to acknowledge and assess what you've been through. Even the healing process can be brutal. I'm glad that there are people who live you and want to see you heal and move on. I wish you all the best.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:00 AM
Are you sure you're not just burying it? Or are you just one of those incredibly strong people that only gets stronfer with adversity? Either way, you have my sympathy.
Popsicle_Feet
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:08 AM

That sounds pretty horrible. I was molested by my father as a child for years, and finally told my school counselor at 13 years old. Haven't seem him since that day. 

It never bothered me though, and I never think about it or let it affect my life. I think I cried once, because my friend had a sweet 16 and her dad got her a lemo to pick her up from school and I realized I would never have that, or be a daddys girl.

It bothers everyone differently, and I know how horrible that is. The way I see it though is if you dwell on it, let it take over your thoughts, you are still being the victim and always will be as long as you let it bother you.

Maybe you don't have any pain, and your mother is just bringing that up for some reason, and that memory is triggered. My family has done the same shit, that I have "daddy issues" just to get under my skin.  

SexyBurlapSack
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:11 AM

I thought I was fine until I was in a better situation. Then the dam I hid everything behind began to crack.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:11 AM

I am so sorry you have had to go through this.  I was severely abused as a child and as an adult, and you can heal and it does get better.  Find yourself a good therapist, there is also an amazing group called Adult Survivors of Child Abuse.  You will find lots of support there.  Also, if you're not ready then that is fine too.  Do whatever is best for yourself.

eadyT
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:14 AM
Hugs mama.
firespurity
by Emerald Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:18 AM
I've got many similarities in my story. People think I'm about to crack all time. I really don't feel that way. On occasion I have a day where I feel on edge, but it always passes.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:33 AM

I am very sorry all of this happened to you. The one thing that sticks out on your title was the word survivor. You may feel broken and a mess, but you are a survivor. Please see a counselor to help you through all of this. You have a lot of grieving, processing, and healing that should be done with a therapists's help. There are therapists that specialize in adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. There are also support groups. I wish you all of the best,

Lindalou907
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:38 AM

Wow, you went through a lot, I hope you will thrive and be happy anyway! Counseling would be great, so you can vent in a safe place. Big hugs!

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