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I sent my son to stay with his bio mother because I am too cheap to pay for daycare! Now I feel horrible!

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:58 AM
  • 11 Replies
My son is 7 and we have an open adoption with his bio mother and her family. My son is off school this week for Thanksgiving, and drop in daycare is $35 a day. I really didn't want to waste a hundred bucks on 3 days worth of daycare so I asked bio mom if she would watch him for me. I talked to him a week ago about spending tonight, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday with his bio mom and sisters. Because of our schedules, he hasn't seen them since August so he was really excited to go. She is a stay at home mom and was willing to watch him. They live 2 hours away from us and we see them every month or so. However, he has never stayed the night without me before.

So I drove him over there today and got him settled. He was playing with his sisters and was so wrapped up in playing that when I went to leave he didn't want to stop playing to say bye. I tried calling at 9 to say good night but the phone went to voice mail. She texted me a while later to say they missed the call but everything was fine and they were heading to bed.

About 15 minutes ago my son calls crying, saying he wants me to come pick him up. I talked to him and calmed him down and told him to sleep by his older sister. I also told him to hang out tomorrow and see if he really wants to come home. I feel bad because even though he is very comfortable there he always sleeps with me (don't get on your high horses over that) so I kind of knew it would be hard at bedtime. I think he will be fine, he us just not used to me not being there. Poor guy :(
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Bleacher-mom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:04 AM
1 mom liked this
He will be fine.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:07 AM
That whole situation is strange but he will be fine.
crumpy_gat
by No. on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:09 AM
Heavy on the strange

Quoting Anonymous 1: That whole situation is strange but he will be fine.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:11 AM
Poor kid. But good for you to save 105 bucks, I guess.
Mrs.Elsey8486
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:12 AM
1 mom liked this

My mom had an open adoption with my sister adopted mom. Me and my twin sisters would stay the night there & they would come and stay the night with us. He will be ok.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:12 AM
Agreed

Quoting crumpy_gat: Heavy on the strange

Quoting Anonymous 1: That whole situation is strange but he will be fine.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:15 AM
So you adopted him, and now you don't wanna pay to care for him?
hargonagain
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:16 AM
Quoting Anonymous 1: Agreed

Quoting crumpy_gat: Heavy on the strange

Quoting Anonymous 1: That whole situation is strange but he will be fine.



Are you saying it is strange because it is open or because we are all close? Ours is a private adoption. I didn't know his bio mom but I knew her sister, which is how we got in touch with each other to begin with.
ranchmama21
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:19 AM

well...you didn't give this kid any chance to prepare for sleep overs. Whether with friends or visiting bio family. Cut the kid some slack on that.

Unsure why he is adopted, but hopefully it was under good terms that you trust her enough that he isn't calling/crying for a valid reason.

hargonagain
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:21 AM
Quoting Anonymous 3: So you adopted him, and now you don't wanna pay to care for him?


lol just for these 3 days. I pay all of his expenses but he doesn't have a daycare provider because he goes to the after school program. The only drop in provider close by Wanted $35 a day. He hasn't been over to visit since August so I was thinking that he could visit and I could save some money. We will be at their house for Thanksgiving anyway.
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