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When is Enough, Enough?

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:30 AM
  • 18 Replies

My four year old bit another child.  She's almost five (march).  The other child is the one I care for in our home.  I immediately put her in a time out, that was 27 minutes ago.  SHe's hysterical.  Pitching a total fit and I've informed her that she may not come out until she apologizes.  She's refusing to apologize.  

When is enough enough? I don't want to give in because I WILL NOT tolerate biting.  She screaming that she wants a hug from me and that I don't love her anymore.  I've told her I love her and always will but that behavior won't be tolerated.  

So how long should I let her go? She's had a few tantrums before, but none like this.  I know she's tired, but I won't let her use that as an excuse for poor behavior.  Biting is unacceptable, period. 

Should I just ignore it indefinitely, until she eventually tires herself out?

by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sncsmama
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:33 AM

BUMP!

gypsy30
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:33 AM

if you give in, she will think that behavior IS tolerated.  It's a battle of the wills at this point.  Stay strong.  

peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:34 AM

Yep, let her scream her little head off

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:34 AM
She needs to calm down before you can talk to her, so yes I say ignore it.

A 4 yr old knows better than to bite. I think frequent talks need to be done about appropriate ways to express her needs. Role play is good for this.
PogoPalOj
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:34 AM

 I would have sent her to her room for the day.  If she can't play well with others, then she doesn't need to play with them.

sncsmama
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:34 AM

Thanks!  We're just starting circle time without her and she LOVES circle time.  We'll see.  

Quoting gypsy30:

if you give in, she will think that behavior IS tolerated.  It's a battle of the wills at this point.  Stay strong.  


Mrs-Somerhalder
by Blake on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:35 AM

A 27 minute time out?

ff-princess
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:36 AM
Stop talking to her. Stop responding to her. Tell her one last time, calmly, that she will sit there until she says she's sorry and you have nothing else to say to her until she realizes she was wrong. By engaging her, you're giving her the very attention she's seeking in the first place and reinforcing the behavior.
sncsmama
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:37 AM

This is the first time she's ever bitten.  I know she was frustrated and tired, but I won't tolerate it and she knows that.  Right now, she's just over tired and can't seem to get it together.  I'm just waiting her out.  I think she's a little embarrassed too, because she knows better and knows she was wrong.

Quoting Anonymous 1: She needs to calm down before you can talk to her, so yes I say ignore it. A 4 yr old knows better than to bite. I think frequent talks need to be done about appropriate ways to express her needs. Role play is good for this.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 8:37 AM
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