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Thanksgiving stepfamily drama

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:36 AM
  • 16 Replies
I see my father and stepmother at best, 2x per year. I always spend thanksgiving with them, my 2 youngest brothers, and my stepmothers side of the family. I'm the only one of the 5 of my fathers adult children (from prior marriages) that attend. None of my father's side come either. That side of my family is very broken/disfunctional. Anyway.
My stepmoms father just had a hip replacement that did not go well and he wound up in a rehab / nursing home facility. My dad just texted me yesterday telling me that they are cooking Thanksgiving dinner and then taking it up to the nursing home and eating it there. I am completely turned off by this idea. For one thing, being in hospitals in general tend to make me ill. The idea of eating in one...ugh..
2. Honestly..I am not close to these folks at all. They couldn't give two shits about me or my family the other 364 days out of the year. I go to see my dad and my brothers.
3. I'm childish. I hide it well. I can't help but to begrudgingly vindictive because when my older brother was sick with cancer, none of them were offering up Thanksgiving dinner to be packed up and brought to his house when he couldn't get out of bed. I took him a plate.
Is there a graceful way out of this? Am I being a complete asshole? I'm up for suggestions.
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SouthernMama86
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:42 AM
2 moms liked this

I see where you're coming from. I hate hospitals as well, and you aren't close to them. I'd also be a tad bit mad that they're willing to jump through hoops for step moms dad but not your brother. I'd call and say you decided to spend Thanksgiving at home but you send your best wishes to step moms dad.

mybabiesmom1
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:49 AM

Can you invite your father and brothers to your place and cook? Maybe on saturday if they don't want to miss the other plans.

malissaL
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Thank you. I AM miffed about it, and it was 4 years ago! I keep thinking, though, if it were my moms mother we'd do the same.
I just don't love these people! Good lord, I said it.
Love my dad, and brothers, but when it comes to my step mom family I'm sadly indifferent


Quoting SouthernMama86:

I see where you're coming from. I hate hospitals as well, and you aren't close to them. I'd also be a tad bit mad that they're willing to jump through hoops for step moms dad but not your brother. I'd call and say you decided to spend Thanksgiving at home but you send your best wishes to step moms dad.

Seagodess
by Emerald Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:53 AM

 I would offer to cook and then let them take some up to the nursing home. Tell them you are not comfortable eating there.

malissaL
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:53 AM
I could, but, how do I get out of being obligated to go?

Quoting mybabiesmom1:

Can you invite your father and brothers to your place and cook? Maybe on saturday if they don't want to miss the other plans.

malissaL
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:55 AM
My Dad always cooks, I just do dessert. are you saying I should just stop by and drop off a cheesecake and go about my day?

Quoting Seagodess:

 I would offer to cook and then let them take some up to the nursing home. Tell them you are not comfortable eating there.

mybabiesmom1
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:57 AM

Say something came up, your child or you are sick, (it's the right kind of weather for it) you have to run to the office, anything really.

Quoting malissaL: I could, but, how do I get out of being obligated to go?
Quoting mybabiesmom1:

Can you invite your father and brothers to your place and cook? Maybe on saturday if they don't want to miss the other plans.


Seagodess
by Emerald Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:57 AM

 No I was suggesting you cook. If that doesn't work, just tell him you dont feel comfortable and make other plans.

Quoting malissaL: My Dad always cooks, I just do dessert. are you saying I should just stop by and drop off a cheesecake and go about my day?
Quoting Seagodess:

 I would offer to cook and then let them take some up to the nursing home. Tell them you are not comfortable eating there.

 

scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:59 AM

I don't think you are hiding it well. If it is something you can not do just tell them you can not attend this year.

Schmoopi
by QueenOfAllThings on Nov. 24, 2014 at 10:59 AM

Do you have an invitation somewhere else? I would be honest with your Dad. Just tell him you wish the best for your stepmom's dad but are not comfortable with being there.

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