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She doesn't want me to leave...is that normal?

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:00 PM
  • 44 Replies
Help settle a disagreement between me and dh.


Dd, age 3, gets upset and a bit clingy when I leave the house. I go to school and work but am usually home during the week before she goes to bed. I'm always home on the weekends and do things with her.
Dh says that it is detrimental to her development because she doesn't doesn't know we not if I am going to be back.

I say it is normal since she is fine afterwards and is always full of smiles when I return. We play and watch tv after dinner time. Plenty of quality time. If anything I am worried because when he leaves she doesn't bat an eye. "Bye daddy!" And no worries. He has been the primary parent from the ginning since I have been the "breadwinner" so it surprises me and worries me that she has no attachment to him like she does me.

So tell me MC. Who is right? Shoul I e worries by the way she reacts when I leave or is dh wrong?
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Medic32
by Go PREDS! on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:01 PM
Your DH needs a child development class
brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:03 PM

Its completely normal. I actually miss my son missing me. If that makes sense. 

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:03 PM
1 mom liked this
She's three, that age is kind of notorious for seperation anxiety. It's totally normal and your DH should relax about it.
abowens12
by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:04 PM
My kids are the same way. I have two girls and if I leave the house without them they are devastated. They aren't like that with their dad. I think its normal but I have been living with it for almost 3 years.
staci1103
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:04 PM

Very normal. She spends more time with u so she's more attached to u.

Owl_Feather
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:06 PM

 She sounds clingy. My daughter is 2 and is very clingy. She is one of those who screams and reaches her hands under the bathroom door if it is closed. But she has gotten better about being let with a babysitter if I go to work. Especially after the first few days and she becomes more familiar. She prefers me over dad for many things. And like you, I lways come back, I always reassure her I will be back and I spend a lot of time with her.

CheerioHolder
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:07 PM
I think it's normal, she's still so young. In time she will realize mommy always comes back and she won't mind when you leave.

It's also normal that she doesn't care when he leaves. That's great that she has no worries about being separated from him and knows she can count on him to come back.
Careeka22
by Caitlin on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:07 PM

 Your situation is identical to mine. My DD is also 3 and does the same thing. She is home with DH all day so doesn't miss him when he leaves. If she sees me leave she has a meltdown. She tells me not to go to work. I try to spend any time I have with her (and her baby sister). Completely normal. She also melts down when mine or his parents leave. I think our girls are just a bit more clingy, I'm sure they will outgrow it.

ArmyWife112908
by Mrs.Crane on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:07 PM
Kids act that way to get attention. She knows that if she cries when you leave daddy will baby her. She doesn't do when daddy leaves because she knows mommy won't baby her. Your husband needs to change the way he reacts to her when you leave and her behavior will change.
AngelSinger
by MS Warrior on Nov. 24, 2014 at 12:08 PM
1 mom liked this
It's separation anxiety, and totally normal.
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