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please,please help

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

I just found out my daughter has been cutting herself and i'm in tears. I feel like somehow i've done something wrong. She's only 12 and I don't know what to do too help. we're going too counseling today but i'm at a lost. This cutting thing is new too me. If anyone has gone thru this please reply. This is my baby and my heart is crushed

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AvantGardener
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Here's a bump. I think the counselor is your first step and a good place to start.

svolkov
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:13 PM
It can be a control thing(ie..she feels she has no control). The therapist you are working with her will know and help. Just love her and be there for her. Bump for mama's with personal experience
MommaTurbo
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:16 PM

Counseling is probably the best first step. 

It seems to me that a lot of times, kids that age do things purely because their friends do it. Maybe find out more about her close friends and see if they are positive relationships. Talk to the other kids' parents and see if they are having any issues with their kids cutting. 

sncsmama
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:17 PM

I have no idea what to say, but here's a bump for you.  I think you are doing the right thing with counseling.  I just wouldn't be too "pushy" if you know what I mean.  I worked with eighth graders a few years ago and one of the girls I worked with did this.  Her mother was flipping out at her and tyring to force her to stop cutting.  It made her do it more.  

Just be there for her, let her know that you love her and you're there for her.  I'm sorry this is happening.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:18 PM

My step cousin was a cutter and through therapy and support she has been in recovery for 3 years. A lot of times it's about feeling out of control. Therapy is the best place to start- hopefully with someone who has experience with cutting. It's really tough to understand- so is something like anorexia but it is real and painful for the entire family. Try this website, it may help: www.thesite.org. Best of luck to you and your daughter.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:22 PM

One of my friends did that in middle school. I don't really know exactly what got her to stop, but me and my other friend were there for her and we would check her at school and begged her to stop. I don't know if that helped, but she did stop after awhile. 

Maybe some support from her friends might help??

I hope something helps her to stop soon. That is so dangerous!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:24 PM
She needs other coping options. Here are some that helped me:

Ripping up magazines and shreds of paper. Being destructive in a safe environment was helpful.

Snapping my wrists with rubber bands. It still provided a sharp tinge of pain, but without lasting scars or marks.

Drawing on myself with red marker. Sometimes it's a visual thing, but it does help.

I know these sound gory, but I learned them all at a behavior health facility and they do actually work.

Buy her a journal. Get involved in her life. Don't ever let her be alone. Show her that you care. Rip paper with her.
kee1006b
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:26 PM

Get a punching bag.  

rmgriffberg
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 1:32 PM

 support her. counseling is a must, but if she isnt opening up to the first one you try, keep trying new ones until you get the right fit. let her know you are there for her if she ever needs to talk, but dont push it. if you would like to talk more in depth you can pm me :)

lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:00 PM

No experience BUT wanted to give you a HUGE HUG and offer prayers. You may need to seek professional help for both of you. Ask the therapist today and talk about it. Sorry mama I can imagine  the pain you are feeling.

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