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They aren't her family

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
I'm a step mom, and my sdds mom told me that saying sdd didn't need to go to thanksgiving with us because my family isn't sdds....well if that's the case she shouldn't be with me either because I'm not "family", my family is just as much hers and she loves my grandma who has stage 4 cancer and wants all the great grandkids together one last time. I wish I could tell her to screw off because she gets no say but I'm keeping my mouth shut and we're going anyway. It kind of bothers me that bm will say my family isn't sdds but will expect me to pick up the slack where she isn't a good mom.....doesn't make sense BUT I treat sdd like my own children so bm doesn't have to ask that anyway
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Leissaintexas
by Emerald Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:25 PM
In the end, the child will remember who was there for her. Let bm run her mouth.
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:26 PM
Make the holiday special for your SD and ignore BM.
LiliM
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:27 PM
Ignore BM. If she's a bitch who cares what she says?

And the next time she expects you or your family to do whatever - have DH tell her that it's not the responsibility of people that mom has made clear are not family. And mom can manage the obligation on her own.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:32 PM
My stepparent's families never accepted me as family. Their loss.
thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:35 PM
I wouldn't be in contact with her at all and do whatever dh and I decided to do during our time.
veros323
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:37 PM

Do you take care of her most of the time? Does her mom hate you? 

manders018
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:42 PM

My son's step family is totally his family and there'sNOTHING that his father would be able to say in order to put that any other way. My mother even tries to tell him that they aren'tfamily but he's like NO THEY ARE..... He's7.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:48 PM
It's split custody

And probably

Quoting veros323:

Do you take care of her most of the time? Does her mom hate you? 

friendlymom5
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:50 PM
Just ignore her and do what you do.
sdsstargazer
by Gold Member on Nov. 24, 2014 at 6:52 PM
My dad always considered my half-brothers his real sons. Even when my mom left when I was little my dad kept them. Their real dad never came to get them, never asked for them and my dad preferred it that way. (He informed their real father of the situation but did not say he could have the boys, he just said my mom was gone and that the boys were now under his care). My dad's family was the same way, as far as anyone was concerned my dad 5 kids. We were never divided by biological and non-biological.

To this day when we talk about dad, my brothers call my dad "dad" or "pops" and their dad by his first name.

Just keep doing what you're doing, ignore BM; the ends will eventually justify the means.
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