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might be a lil long but needing advice

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:33 AM
  • 27 Replies
So my confession i have to let it all out. So i was married for 6 years.. i went through a lot.. from letting my husband expirement with his sexuality n figure out what he wanted.. in the end it killed everything.. i felt so torn like i could never get my own feeling inside right again.. well after 6 years of fighting with my own battles of emotion i finally left in the worst way.. i was talking to an old guy friend from school n ended up cheating on my husband with this guy. Ended my marriage dated the new guy for 4 months.. he brought out the good in me i thought. Found out he cheated with my so called best friend one drunk night.. ended the relationship with him n discovered the guy i really loved was my best friend of 11 years.. so we hung out a lot hit it off great.. found we both had strong feelings for eachother.. dated 2 weeks n moved in with eachother.. still dating.. but i feel like a crazy women at times wanting to know what he talks about to other ppl.. i feel overwhelmed most of the time.. afraid he is gonna cheat on me to.. he shows me the conversations on his phone and all.. i know he loves me hell he told me to quit my job n be home more with my kids n he supports all of us.. im living the fairy tale dream ive always wanted.. but i keep having these feelings of being afraid he will leave me for someone else eventually just like the other ones.. i dont understand why i cant get over feeling so guarded all the time.. i secretly cry a lot.. why am i convincing myself that everything is so bad when i know its so great.. anyone else ever feel this way n how did u get urself to trust someone again when they werent the ones that did wrong to u but others did.. needing some advice for sure.
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:40 AM
Your guilt is eating you alive. Seek professional help before you drive yourself crazy. Best of luck to you.
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:41 AM

You are having trouble trusting him or likely anyone right now due to what you have gone through over the past several years. It is understandable. Talk to him and let him know. It may be difficult for him to understand but,if you both have patience with how you feel and work through it together,he doesn't do anything himself to cause you to question trusting him ....then given some time you should be alright.

I used to have difficulty trusting because of things in my life and it took someone doing this for me to begin trusting. That someone is my hubby.

by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:43 AM

And ROFL @ it might be a little long. Motherfucking Twitter, if you can't say it in 140 characters, lazy ass bitches whine about it being too long. The length of your post isn't the issue, dear, the random addition of second periods and the lack of commas and capitals are the issue. 

by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm saying this with kindness - I think you need to talk to someone because you sound depressed and I also think you need to leave men alone for a while.  You essentially just got out of a long term relationship and now seem to be jumping from guy to guy.  And you are loosing more & more trust with each relationship that you are in.  I think you need to take a step back, concentrate on yourself and find your own happiness.  Spend time with your kids, make your relationships with your friends stronger, get your own finances in order, do things that make you feel like a better person (not a person who is so untrusting & paranoid that she needs to check another person's phone).  Good luck and I hope you find your happiness.

by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:56 AM
You rushed from one guy to the next and never stopped long enough to find yourself and what you want from life. Therapy might help. Did you drag your kids from one situation to the next as well? SMH.
by Emerald Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 4:57 AM

you have to trust again or you will drive him away.

however because you are moving so fast, you still have to get to know him now that you are living together.

by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 5:01 AM

Go see a therapist. I believe that before you jump into another relationship it's usually a good idea to figure out whey you were involved with BAD relationships. Until you figure that out you can't accept a good relationship and will sabotage it. Start seeing a therapist before you destroy this relationship.

by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 5:02 AM
And no i did not drag my kids along with every situation.. smdh im not a whore.. im trying to figure out my life after a long miserable marriage i tried my damndest to keep. But enough was enough. I wish some wouldnt judge the way they do u have no idea what ive been through to drive me to where i am.. n the ppl that are helping with advice without judgement thank you
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 5:02 AM
You feel guilt about the way you handled things and don't think you deserve to be happy. You don't know who you are anymore or what you want and you are projecting insecurities on to your relationship.
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 5:06 AM
It takes a long time to truly recover from being betrayed. Try to relax, give it time, & eventually you can 100% rest at ease that life is Great, & there truly is Nothing to worry about (: As for tonight, have a glass of wine, & watch a funny movie. Or sleep. Sleep is pretty awesome (: second daughter is 19 days old, so I'm jealous that others can sleep (; haha
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