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My 5 year old said he wanted another mommy!

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:02 AM
  • 45 Replies

I was in the pharmacy drive thru yesterday. They offered my son a red sucker. He started throwing a fit for a blue one. I told the pharmacist "I'm coming in." 

I pulled around to the front and marched my son's little booty inside. He gave a heartfelt apology and then I refused to let him have a sucker.

when we got back in the car, he said "I want a new mommy!"

i know he was just mad, but it hurt!  How do I deal with this?

by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsCountryMama
by Beth on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:05 AM
Just tell him it was hurtful and he should apologize to you also. Explain that no matter what you wouldn't want to replace him.
V35
by Veronica. on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:05 AM
1 mom liked this

I know it's hard but try not to take it so personally. Besides, he'll change his mind if you don't tuck him in at night or do something else that's routine for the two of you.

Kudos to you for making him apologize. It sounds like you're raising a good kid.

theTosh.O
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:07 AM

BUMP!

theTosh.O
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:14 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:18 AM
3 moms liked this

You let his words roll off of you like water off a duck's back!  In the moment, you just say, "I'm sorry you feel that way because I love you with all my heart and wouldn't trade you for anything in the world".  And you go on about your business.  In the moment, don't react or give his words power (because that's what he wants and that gives him the power in the situation).  Later on, when he's in a more reasonable and loving mood, remind him that words hurt and that it really hurt your feelings when he said that he wanted a new Mommy.

As far as the sucker goes, you know you were doing the right thing, especially if you've already had the conversation/expectation that you take what's offered to you graciously and don't throw a tantrum because it's not exactly what you wanted.  And I'm guessing that with a 5 year old, that expectation has been in place for a few years now.  

I will also suggest that you make sure that expectation is in place at home, not just when you're out around other people and that you create more situations for him to exercise/practice that skill.  I think sometimes kids (especially only children - not sure if yours is or not), grow accustomed to always/usually getting their preference, pretty much by default.  We just naturally buy the snacks they like and their favorite cereal.  The TV is on their favorite show because there's no reason for it not to be on their favorite show.  They get their pick of the toys all day long.  We go to their favorite lunch spot or park, etc.  Start going against that a little more, so he has to practice flexibility and handling "not his favorite" appropriately.  Try to,creat those situations daily.  

Stick to your guns, Mama!  Good luck!   :)

demonica29
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:18 AM

Personally, I'd tell him, "Sucks to be you." But I can see how that wouldn't work for everyone. Honestly, I've been luck enough to make it to seven with him still telling me I'm the best mom in the world. all bets are off once he's a teen though, heavy sigh. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:20 AM
1 mom liked this
That is along the line of "i hate you" it means you are doing a good job being a parent
theTosh.O
by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:26 AM

You're absolutely right!

i do give him his preferences by default. He's an only child and I have no reason to argue.  I should though.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

You let his words roll off of you like water off a duck's back!  In the moment, you just say, "I'm sorry you feel that way because I love you with all my heart and wouldn't trade you for anything in the world".  And you go on about your business.  In the moment, don't react or give his words power (because that's what he wants and that gives him the power in the situation).  Later on, when he's in a more reasonable and loving mood, remind him that words hurt and that it really hurt your feelings when he said that he wanted a new Mommy.

As far as the sucker goes, you know you were doing the right thing, especially if you've already had the conversation/expectation that you take what's offered to you graciously and don't throw a tantrum because it's not exactly what you wanted.  And I'm guessing that with a 5 year old, that expectation has been in place for a few years now.  

I will also suggest that you make sure that expectation is in place at home, not just when you're out around other people and that you create more situations for him to exercise/practice that skill.  I think sometimes kids (especially only children - not sure if yours is or not), grow accustomed to always/usually getting their preference, pretty much by default.  We just naturally buy the snacks they like and their favorite cereal.  The TV is on their favorite show because there's no reason for it not to be on their favorite show.  They get their pick of the toys all day long.  We go to their favorite lunch spot or park, etc.  Start going against that a little more, so he has to practice flexibility and handling "not his favorite" appropriately.  Try to,creat those situations daily.  

Stick to your guns, Mama!  Good luck!   :)


motherslove82
by Emerald Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:43 AM
Ignore him. My 11year old just told me she hates me because I made her go to school (her throat and ears hurt, no fever). Sometimes I talk to her about it, but she knows it hurts me. That's why she says it.
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Dec. 4, 2014 at 6:53 AM
I'd remind him that he's expected to be kind and not intentionally hurt the feelings of others.
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