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Physiologist

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:01 PM
  • 8 Replies

So, my daughter has been having some pretty bad behavior problems for awhile now. Her PCP has said that its ADHD for sure, but that she has some other under lying issues and wanted us to see a therapist. Well, we were seeing a therapist and the therapist said that she thinks there is more and referred us to a physiologist that she worked with when working for CPS. The physiologist doesn't work for CPS anymore, he has his own practice now. So, I figured what the hell, why not. I do not trust CPS at all, I will say that. 
So, my daughter is 6 1/2 years old. She was around my mother since she was born. But my mother is a controlling nut job. She has threatened to kill me on many occasions and has attacked me before. She has threatened to STEAL my daughter from me also. She got, hard to imagine, 10x worse the month before my daughter turned 4. She actually went to my aunts to pick up my daughter and take her from me. She then proceed to call me and cuss me out and threaten me on the phone in front of my daughter a few other young children as well. I went to get my daughter, and then went straight to the police. My mother was not there when I went to get my daughter thank god. I was able to get a restraining order on my mother for a year. Within that year, I moved out of state because my mother would keep driving past my home and stalking me. The police said there was nothing they could do because she would never be caught on our property or close enough that would be in violation of the restraining order. 

The point behind that back story is that my daughter was SUPER close to her. Imagine your 2 or 3 year old going through seperation anxiety when you leave, that would be what my daughter would go through when me or my mother would leave. She would give in worse than any grandmother would do to my daughter. Anything my daughter wanted, she would get. So when all of a sudden my mother was no longer around, we knew there would be problems with my daughter, but we never knew they would turn out as bad as what they did.
My daughter has always had a temper, since the day she was born. Screaming fits and all that fun stuff. When she started to throw tantrums she would throw anything she would get her hands on. She would try to bite people. She would slam herself into the ground. But as she got older, about 4 or 5, she wouldn't remember some of these fits that she would throw. She would have a huge meltdown and then when she calmed down and you would try to talk to her about it, she wouldn't know what you were talking about. She was and is usually great in public or around groups of people. But its being in small crowds that is the problem oddly enough.  
Point is, this physiologist wants us to restrain her to the point of putting her arms behind her back and pulling her shirt up to her elbows to keep her there until she settles down. He is wanting her to understand that if I say to do something and her dad comes behind me and says to go do something else, she is to stop what I'm doing and do what he says, and then to go back to what I'm doing. And this goes for any adult. He has also given us this task to start. She has light up shoes, and she loves to make them light up. Well, he says to tell her she is not allowed to have them light up in any room but her room and if she does then they are taken from her. And the first time she does that after she is told not to, they are taken from her and not given back til next week.
I don't feel doing this is right. But I'm at a loss as to what to do. Any thoughts? I know some of you mamas have children that were like this or that still are, can you please give me your thoughts on this please? Sorry this is so long, but I needed to vent and I figured what better way than to do it here. 

by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:01 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:07 PM
I don't know I agree with the tactic here. I would find another professional to help. You clearly need help, but this sounds kind of mean. Good luck.
BobKitten13
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:16 PM

I forgot to add that he thinks she either has bipolar or is ODD. So he thinks doing it this way will "rule out" if it is ODD. But, like you, I think its a mean way to do it as well. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't know I agree with the tactic here. I would find another professional to help. You clearly need help, but this sounds kind of mean. Good luck.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:24 PM
I would insist there must be another way to conclude an accurate diagnosis without being cruel. The holding her and lifting her shirt up is downright mean. That can't be a common method.

Quoting BobKitten13:

I forgot to add that he thinks she either has bipolar or is ODD. So he thinks doing it this way will "rule out" if it is ODD. But, like you, I think its a mean way to do it as well. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't know I agree with the tactic here. I would find another professional to help. You clearly need help, but this sounds kind of mean. Good luck.

BobKitten13
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:31 PM

That method is for restraining her when she has her melt downs and is trying to hurt someone else or herself or trying to destroy things. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: I would insist there must be another way to conclude an accurate diagnosis without being cruel. The holding her and lifting her shirt up is downright mean. That can't be a common method.
Quoting BobKitten13:

I forgot to add that he thinks she either has bipolar or is ODD. So he thinks doing it this way will "rule out" if it is ODD. But, like you, I think its a mean way to do it as well. 

Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't know I agree with the tactic here. I would find another professional to help. You clearly need help, but this sounds kind of mean. Good luck.


NowImAMom...
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 2:23 PM
Restraining her with her shirt doesn't sound right to me... and how is taking away her light up shoes going to help? They light up when they are walked in, ffs.
BobKitten13
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 2:36 PM

He says because using the shirt won't easily harm her like actually holding her down could. And her light up shoes, its just to show who is the "boss". That no matter how stupid the rules are, she has to follow them. Like I said, I'm not sure I agree with all this. I can see about using the shirt to restrain her, but  using something so petty and little like the shoes to "control" her, I don't really see the point behind it. He says its make her start understanding that no matter what there are rules to follow.

Quoting NowImAMom...: Restraining her with her shirt doesn't sound right to me... and how is taking away her light up shoes going to help? They light up when they are walked in, ffs.


NowImAMom...
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 3:04 PM
I guess I just don't see it like that. I feel like using her shirt would make it easier to accidentally hurt her- but I don't have much experience with restraining a child mid meltdown.
As for the the shoes-I think making up a stupid rule to show who is boss to be.... stupid. Micromanaging isn't really something that I agree with. I think that will only distract from the real rules, because she's gonna get caught up with the stupid ones. But thats just my opinion.


Quoting BobKitten13:

He says because using the shirt won't easily harm her like actually holding her down could. And her light up shoes, its just to show who is the "boss". That no matter how stupid the rules are, she has to follow them. Like I said, I'm not sure I agree with all this. I can see about using the shirt to restrain her, but  using something so petty and little like the shoes to "control" her, I don't really see the point behind it. He says its make her start understanding that no matter what there are rules to follow.

Quoting NowImAMom...: Restraining her with her shirt doesn't sound right to me... and how is taking away her light up shoes going to help? They light up when they are walked in, ffs.

BobKitten13
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 3:09 PM

That is why I'm asking for advise along with venting. Lol I want different opinions, but I do agree with you on stupid rules like that. I mean, I do expect her to follow the rules, but making up some stupid little ones like that I think take away from the real rules or the bigger rules.

Quoting NowImAMom...: I guess I just don't see it like that. I feel like using her shirt would make it easier to accidentally hurt her- but I don't have much experience with restraining a child mid meltdown. As for the the shoes-I think making up a stupid rule to show who is boss to be.... stupid. Micromanaging isn't really something that I agree with. I think that will only distract from the real rules, because she's gonna get caught up with the stupid ones. But thats just my opinion.
Quoting BobKitten13:

He says because using the shirt won't easily harm her like actually holding her down could. And her light up shoes, its just to show who is the "boss". That no matter how stupid the rules are, she has to follow them. Like I said, I'm not sure I agree with all this. I can see about using the shirt to restrain her, but  using something so petty and little like the shoes to "control" her, I don't really see the point behind it. He says its make her start understanding that no matter what there are rules to follow.

Quoting NowImAMom...: Restraining her with her shirt doesn't sound right to me... and how is taking away her light up shoes going to help? They light up when they are walked in, ffs.


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