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Husband wants to move...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
We moved away from friends and family for an amazing career opportunity for my husband almost 5 years ago. It was hard at first but eventually we settled in and have a group of great friends, and I have a job I enjoy. Our kids are doing great in school and have lots of friends. We have a kindergartner, a 6th, and 8th grader. We live in a safe, small town with lots of unique opportunities which I have come to love. Now dh has an opportunity to advance but he would have to be in a bigger city about 70 miles away. I'm absolutely heart broken. The thought of making my kids start over again makes me sad and feel kinda sick. I have told him I don't want to go and the older kids don't want to either and he is not very pleased with me about it. I don't want to be selfish and deny him the opportunity but I also don't want to cause such an upheaval in my kids lives. I'm also not pleased to have to move to an area with a lot more crime etc. I asked if we could compromise and he stay a night or 2 a week away which didn't go over very well at all. I don't know if I should stand my ground or give in to him. I just want to do what is best for my family.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SunshneDaydream
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:13 PM
Bump to read replies. We're kind of in a similar situation except I want to move but hubby doesn't and I don't want to pull my kids away from their friends. But living in the suburbs is slowly killing me inside. Sorry I'm no help :(
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:16 PM
DH is military so moves are part of our life. It is still not easy though, for any of us.
SueSahara
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:22 PM

 honestly it seems like he is a little selfish. What about the life and career that you had to rebuild after the first move. Is your career not as important as his? Are you guys going to continue to move to accommodate his career aspirations? why cant he move upward (career-wise) where he is working right now?

Honestly you will regret having to uproot your life once again and start over so hubby can be happy for a couple of years before doing it again.

owl0210
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:25 PM
You already uprooted for him once. Stay where you are and don't disrupt your children's lives.
chicagoliz
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:26 PM

I know 70 miles is not ideal, but is there any way he can take the job and you don't have to move?  Can he work it out so he can work from home one or two days a week?  I've known people who have commuted that far, and I know that's a real drag, but sometimes, if there are family considerations and a spouse who also has a job, the person has to suck it up.  It is do-able, even if not ideal.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:28 PM
1 mom liked this
You don't necessarily have to move. It would be a long commute but many people do it.
Leissaintexas
by Emerald Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:31 PM
Military families do it as often as every 18 months. L9ok at it as an adventure!
thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:33 PM
I would not move for his career.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:34 PM

Sit down with him and make a pros and cons list. How much more would he be paid? Is the pay raise with the advance more then you get paid doing the job you love? 

PhantomRose88
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:34 PM
Go where the husband goes. Thats my philosophy. Move on to new adventures.
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