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They want me to redo my whole holiday menu or they won't attend!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 607 Replies
2 moms liked this

My menu is set.  Copied straight from the email I sent back at the beginning of October:  

Appetizers:
Cheese Ball (3 different as usual)
Summer sausage, pepperoni, Canadian bacon tray
Cheese slice/cube tray
Mini smoked sausages in BBQ sauce
Meatballs in BBQ sauce, marinara sauce, and a chili sauce.
Veggie tray 
Cracker tray with 6 different types
(can make a meal just out of the appetizers but they're set out around noon and the meal isn't until 5pm...yes, I make enough to last that long and replenish as they get low and we are talking 75 people that are arriving at different times between 12pm-5pm.)  

Salads:
Tossed Salad 
Cole Slaw 

Meal:
Deep Fried Turkey
Ham
Mashed potatoes
Macaroni and cheese
Green Beans
Homemade California Blend cheese sauce on the side 
Sweet potatoes
Lima Beans

There are also homemade yeast rolls. 

Desserts:
Eclair Cake
Cheesecake
Brownies
Soft Sugar Cookies
No Bake Cookies
Peanut Butter Cookies

Drinks:
Selection of beers and wines
Soft drinks
Lemonade
Iced Tea
Coffee
Bottled Water
 

Now, not only do I cook all of this by myself, with help from 16 year old DD (and DH manning the deep fryer), we have to move furniture around to arrange enough tables to seat 75 people in my house at 5pm.  Thankfully my house is an open floor plan with the dining room and family room being one big great room that also opens up into a fully enclosed sunroom.  I still have a lot of furniture that has to be moved out to make way for all those tables.  I have 4 tables that seat 6, 10 that seat 4, 4 that can seat 2, and 6 can sit at my breakfast bar.  It is a lot of work to get all my furniture moved out to the detached garage and getting all the tables, crock pots, buffet warmers, etc, out of the loft storage, setting up the tables and chairs in my house and the buffet out in the attached garage.  It is kind of a PITA to live without my furniture, but it is only one week out of the whole year, we make do.     

It takes me pretty much the whole week to get everything prepared to pull this off.  The food and all the ingredients for everything is already bought.

My dad's youngest brother does not like turkey.  That's fine, that is why I make a ham too.  This year he has decided he doesn't like ham either, too much sodium in it.  He has a new girlfriend that doesn't like either one, also.  She has two kids that are super picky and they will ONLY eat hamburger.  They will eat that in any form, but that is the only meat they will.  Okay, fine, guess they can have the different types of meatballs as their meat, right?  Well, yes, but new GF only eats fish.  She is pretty much a vegetarian and only eats fish, grilled preferably.  By the way, she only eats steamed vegetables, not boiled or grilled or any other way, only steamed.  Add to that, she is lactose intolerant so she avoids dairy.  Also, she and the kids do not do carbs or sugar, it makes them hyper.  To top it all off, she doesn't really like that we're serving alcohol.  

By the time he finished telling me this, I am standing there just looking at him.  I slowly asked him "So, are you asking me to add grilled fish to the menu, steam all the vegetables instead of how I usually cook them, and not serve anything with the carbs or dairy, or sugar???   And to forego the wine and beer selection???" His face lights up and says "That would be perfect!"

I look at him and say you have to be kidding me?  That would be a load off my back, BECAUSE IT WOULD CUT OUT HALF THE MENU!!!  And you want me to disappoint 70 other people so the FOUR of you can have the meal YOU want?  I have done this menu every year for TWENTY YEARS and you want me to change it because you met a new woman 6 months ago?  You have got to be fucking kidding me.  

He looked seriously hurt and says "But she won't come with me if you are having all that stuff and don't cook what she will eat.  She doesn't want to chance it that her kids will eat all that sugary stuff or be exposed to the drinking."  

I told him that she was welcome to fix a small meal that she and her kids can/will eat and bring it with them, while she controls her kids about the desserts, because that is on her as a parent to do, but I am NOT changing one damn thing about my menu.  And as for the beer and wine, I work my ass for a damn week to pull this together for the whole family and you want to tell that I am 45 years old and can't have a glass of wine with my dinner that I have slaved over???  

He then tells me to not expect them for our Christmas dinner then.  

I honestly probably would have grilled some fish, not that big of a deal for DH to throw some on the grill while he is manning the deep fryer and my brother would be out there with him so they could watch both.  But with all their other demands, HELL NO.

He is now telling everyone that I don't want him or his GF and her kids at *my* Christmas dinner and I am getting phone calls left and right from other family members wanting to know what is going on.  After I tell my side, most are with me, but a few are saying to just go ahead and fix a little extra the way she likes it, but at the same time still want their whole meal...including all the desserts and the beer and wine.  He/they made it clear that they didn't want those things, it was all a part of the big picture and they wouldn't attend unless I change the whole menu. 

Am I wrong for saying I am not changing anything?



 

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
summerlove3677
by on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:10 PM
82 moms liked this
Stand your ground. They can bring their own food or not eat. You don't change something for four out of 70 people.
Rangermom772
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:10 PM
15 moms liked this

I don't eat carbs either, but never ever make requests. I just explain to the host that I numerous food restrictions and will bring my own meal. Never an issue.

erin708
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Hell no. That's ridiculous.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ff-princess
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:12 PM
4 moms liked this
No, not wrong at all. Guests do not get to dictate how I host my holiday meal.
susannah2000
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:13 PM
11 moms liked this

NO

Luv_my_hubby
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:14 PM
I wouldn't change the menu at all.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:14 PM
10 moms liked this
Hehehe tossed salad
BalderdashMom
by on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:15 PM
4 moms liked this
Fuck em
susannah2000
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:16 PM
10 moms liked this

 

Quoting Rangermom772:

I don't eat carbs either, but never ever make requests. I just explain to the host that I numerous food restrictions and will bring my own meal. Never an issue.

 Seems like if you are so picky that you couldn't find anything to eat on that whole list of foods, you could stay home.

kee1006b
by Gold Member on Dec. 9, 2014 at 1:16 PM

Not at all

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