Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My SO wants to get married and I think I'm going to say "no"...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies
I just found out my SO owes the IRS some money. I don't know exactly how much but I don't want to get dragged down with him. I love him dearly but it is because of his own greedy stupidity. Is that wrong of me to wait until he sorts everything out? I'm also scared he'll do it again, and I don't want to be responsible for his actions. What do you think? Deal breaker? We have two children together and 6 years of memories. But this whole IRS thing is making me nervous. Thanks.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2014 at 4:10 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
kristiwalker09
by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 4:20 AM
I'd let him get it sorted out. Not being married doesn't make your relationship less.
I have avoided marriage too so I get it.
OrangeBalloon
by Emerald Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 4:20 AM

I don't blame you. When you marry his debt becomes YOUR debt. If he asks you to marry him, tell him maybe. LOL. I know that's not a great answer, but if he has intentions of you being together then you have a right to know how badly he is in debt and he should tell you. It is not right for you to find out after the fact. It could be that the debt is not that bad, but that is really for you to determine. Good luck. 

kgbm13
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 4:22 AM

Talk to him and tell him how you feel.  And how it would affect both of you if you were to get married.  You could always say yes but I want to wait until your history is cleared so it doesn't affect us together.

Bleacher-mom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 4:29 AM
Did he get into this mess while you guys were together?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 12, 2014 at 4:31 AM
I don't blame you. I think poor financial decisions, bad credit and extreme debt are all things that should be considered before a huge commitment like marriage.
bleumonster
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 4:33 AM
If you have been together for 6 years and have two children together, why don't you know each other's entire financial history with full details? This is a glaring red flag for me.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 3:31 PM
I didn't find out about it until recently. He never felt the need to tell me, which is another reason why I am so upset.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)