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I don't want to be the OW!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies
First off, I'm single. He has a girlfriend. We're partners at work so basically live together 1 or 2 days a week. She lives 3 hours away. He asked me out before he met her, but I wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone at that time.

We've been hanging out outside of work at least once a week for about a month, and I was really really stupid last night. We went to the bar to grab a drink, like we've done before, and ended up having sex. It was amazing. He's amazing...not just in that, but I really like him a lot, I shouldn't have turned him down when he asked me out before. I want him to be with me instead of her, and it sucks. We're going to breakfast in the morning, but she'll be in town this weekend so I wwon't be able to talk to him at all.

I'm kicking myself so hard for this. I meant to be good, to just be friends with him, even though I knew we both wanted more. And now I'm a horrible person.

I don't know what I want from this, I just had to get it out. :/
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lwalker270
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Not as horrible as he is!  If he's really amazing, he'll do the right thing and end it with her before he pursues anything else with you.


Inana
by Controversial on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:29 AM
What she said ^^^
I how he ends it with her this weekend. If he doesn't, you don't mean that much to him and you'll be the OW.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:31 AM
I hope he ends it with her. They haven't been together for very long, maybe 3 months, but were already talking about marriage. He was going to propose to her in January. But he told me that he told her the other day that they need to slow down, not get engaged yet. I feel like if he's already wanting someone else, he shouldn't be marrying her, but obobviously that's not up to me. And I'm sure I'm really stupid to think that he might leave her for me.

Quoting lwalker270:

Not as horrible as he is!  If he's really amazing, he'll do the right thing and end it with her before he pursues anything else with you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:33 AM
Did you tell him how you feel now?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:33 AM
Is it too pushy if I tell him tomorrow that I want to be with him but not if I have to share him with her?

Quoting Inana: What she said ^^^
I how he ends it with her this weekend. If he doesn't, you don't mean that much to him and you'll be the OW.
oldieNgoodie29
by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:34 AM
Only one choice...he ends it this weekend or you are only a work partner from now on. I have been the other women, it leaves you feeling dirty, empty and guilty . And, if he is willing to have his cake and eat it too, he isn't worth having.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:35 AM
I want to tell him at breakfast. And I know it's going to hurt if he chooses her.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Did you tell him how you feel now?
blessed107
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:37 AM

Tell him, see what reaction or response you get. Then that should indicate whether you should move on. if it's so easy for him to cheat on her, what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:37 AM
Well don't ask him to choose just tell him how you made a huge mistake and let him take it from there

Quoting Anonymous 1: I want to tell him at breakfast. And I know it's going to hurt if he chooses her.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Did you tell him how you feel now?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:37 AM
I already feel guilty. I've talked to his gf several times, and I feel wrong for not telling her. I know she knows he has feelings for me.

Quoting oldieNgoodie29: Only one choice...he ends it this weekend or you are only a work partner from now on. I have been the other women, it leaves you feeling dirty, empty and guilty . And, if he is willing to have his cake and eat it too, he isn't worth having.
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