Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When a person is grieving, the last thing anyone should say is..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

"Well, you have a grandchild to look forward to...

Count your blessings

Things could be worse

Life goes on"




How about saying,  "gee, i'm sorry for your loss...is there anything i can do?"

or, 'How can I help you'

or simply,  'I'm sorry, i'm here for you"

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2014 at 7:44 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
MissiNy
by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 7:47 AM

I mean I can see where it would be taken. Wrong.. But I don't think it was the persons intention to mean it like that.. More like a look on the bright side of things.. And things could be worse..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 12, 2014 at 7:48 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry. :( I know exactly what you mean. I guess sometimes people don't know what to say? :( I lost my son and was just told. "At least you have two healthy beautiful babies" Hmm... thanks..
littlelamb303
by Emerald Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 7:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree , but many people are at a loss for words with something like this .  They should just offer their condolences and shut up.  When someone is grieving, they are not thinking anything could be worse at that moment.  That is the worst thing that could happen.

Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Dec. 12, 2014 at 7:51 AM
I'm sure they mean well.
olivejuice2
by Gold Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 7:52 AM
1 mom liked this
People aren't comfortable with other's emotional suffering. Those statements are almost certainly well intentioned, it's not the speaker's intent to minimize or brush aside your pain. They want to encourage you to make the best of a bad situation.

I agree that just am "I'm sorry" or "is there anything I can do?" would be easier to hear when the grief is still fresh.
lizzie_ann
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 7:55 AM
When I was deep into my grief over my daughter's death, I didn't pay attention to the actual words people used and instead just focused on their intentions of saying something nice to me. And once my grief was less raw and intense I appreciated people trying to remind me of the good in my life.
lizzie_ann
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 7:58 AM
Although I found "is there anything I can do for you?" to be the WORST because it reminded me that I couldn't have the one thing I truly wanted, my daughter back in my arms.
mrsmoonbeam
by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 8:00 AM
What about At least you can try again or At least you have your OTHER children. I Haven lost a child thank god! But I have heard people say that to people who have. Oh yes I forgot this one. They are in a better place. Like your not allowed to be upset.
michal6
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 8:02 AM
Sometimes people don't know what to say. At a funeral I attended a few weeks ago I just went up and have her a hug and told her I loved her. She thanked me because she said she was so tired of people asking how she was doing, and that I was the first person that didn't do that. I think it is just one of the first things that come out of our mouths.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 12, 2014 at 8:03 AM

I had an early miscarriage a month ago....and someone said to me
"Well at least it wasn't like a real baby"

That was the worst thing anyone has said to me.....yes it wasn't a living, breathing child...but it WAS a real baby and it was my baby

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)