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Advice Needed

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
My sons dad and I were together 3 years. He ended up leaving us (and our unborn child) for some girl he works with. They rented the house WE were supposed to move into 1 street over. He left on a Tuesday and I didnt know where he was til that Friday when I happened to notice him walking across the street. Since he didnt call or check on his child since he disappeared those couple of days, I took that as him walking out on our son. Of course his family begs to differ. Anyway, he was saying at first that he and this girl are just roommates. Then I find out theyve been together for awhile, but he cant give me the decency to tell me how long. Hes wanting our son to spend every other weekend with them (hes 16 months), and I'm daying no bc they dont have any furniture, theres no food in their house, and theres no heat...not to mention nowhere for my son to sleep.
We split up last year and agreed on visitation then, when no girl was involved in a dif county. Hes saying he should be able to get him and it shouldnt matter who hes with, he trusts this girl. I know they work together, but I really dont know her! Am I being unreasonable by saying I dont want him around her? I was thinking of pushing for supervised visits. Any input would be helpful. And if it didnt make sense, I apologize. Tad bit upset.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2014 at 10:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
destiny3513
by Gold Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 10:49 AM

BUMP!

lollip0p
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 10:49 AM
1 mom liked this
It depends how much you trust his judgement. He can go to court and will almost definitely be awarded some visitation though. Also, without a court order he has as much right as you to just keep him. Be careful.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 10:55 AM
In the other county, I'm listed as primary custodian. He put me in jail yesterday bc I was asking him how he wanted to work the visitation out and that I didnt want my child around her. It was considered harrassment of communications and its a domestic violence 3 charge, which I go to court for in Feb. I was in jail a whole 30 mins. But I dropped our son at a babysitters house and turned myself in. Turns out he did that to try and get our son, but it didnt work.

Quoting lollip0p: It depends how much you trust his judgement. He can go to court and will almost definitely be awarded some visitation though. Also, without a court order he has as much right as you to just keep him. Be careful.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 10:57 AM
But Im moving tomorrow bc he lives too close. Im just going to tell the courts where I moved to bc I dont want to "harrass" him again.
Amy_M
by Gold Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 10:58 AM

That makes absolutely no sense at all.

Quoting Anonymous 1: In the other county, I'm listed as primary custodian. He put me in jail yesterday bc I was asking him how he wanted to work the visitation out and that I didnt want my child around her. It was considered harrassment of communications and its a domestic violence 3 charge, which I go to court for in Feb. I was in jail a whole 30 mins. But I dropped our son at a babysitters house and turned myself in. Turns out he did that to try and get our son, but it didnt work.
Quoting lollip0p: It depends how much you trust his judgement. He can go to court and will almost definitely be awarded some visitation though. Also, without a court order he has as much right as you to just keep him. Be careful.


KsAangel25
by Gold Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:02 AM
I've heard too many stories of boyfriends and girlfriends of killing step kids. I never let my girls go to their dad's house when he was married. He knew never to fight me, so he'd visit them at his mom's house. She lived in the same city as he did. Listen to your gut.
beautiful.GIRL1
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:03 AM
"Without a court order he has as much right as you to keep him"?

How in the world does that work. Cause every state and county as well as neighboring counties that I've lived in, have all viewed the mother as custodial parent regardless if there's an order or not.


Quoting lollip0p: It depends how much you trust his judgement. He can go to court and will almost definitely be awarded some visitation though. Also, without a court order he has as much right as you to just keep him. Be careful.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:12 AM
If the father is listed on the bc, he has just as much right to have the child as the mother does. He can take him and keep him til a court order is filed to have to give him back

Quoting beautiful.GIRL1: "Without a court order he has as much right as you to keep him"?

How in the world does that work. Cause every state and county as well as neighboring counties that I've lived in, have all viewed the mother as custodial parent regardless if there's an order or not.


Quoting lollip0p: It depends how much you trust his judgement. He can go to court and will almost definitely be awarded some visitation though. Also, without a court order he has as much right as you to just keep him. Be careful.
lollip0p
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:26 AM
What?! Why on earth would the mother have exclusive rights over the child? The father is an equal parent. It would be discriminatory to favour the mother purely based on sex. Look it up.

Quoting beautiful.GIRL1: "Without a court order he has as much right as you to keep him"?

How in the world does that work. Cause every state and county as well as neighboring counties that I've lived in, have all viewed the mother as custodial parent regardless if there's an order or not.


Quoting lollip0p: It depends how much you trust his judgement. He can go to court and will almost definitely be awarded some visitation though. Also, without a court order he has as much right as you to just keep him. Be careful.
lollip0p
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:28 AM
He sounds like an asshole. I wouldn't trust him for a second. Good luck to you.

Quoting Anonymous 1: In the other county, I'm listed as primary custodian. He put me in jail yesterday bc I was asking him how he wanted to work the visitation out and that I didnt want my child around her. It was considered harrassment of communications and its a domestic violence 3 charge, which I go to court for in Feb. I was in jail a whole 30 mins. But I dropped our son at a babysitters house and turned myself in. Turns out he did that to try and get our son, but it didnt work.

Quoting lollip0p: It depends how much you trust his judgement. He can go to court and will almost definitely be awarded some visitation though. Also, without a court order he has as much right as you to just keep him. Be careful.
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