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They won't see their father so you can see them for 3 hours?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

I moved closer to family a year ago and moved myself and my kids across the country from their father (we both agreed it was in the kids best interest).  Since our first was born Christmas has always run one year it's a family Christmas the next year it's the inlaw Christmas.  This year is supposed to be family Christmas.  

In August my ex called and asked which year it was because he might be able to get Christmas off and fly in to see them.  I asked my family about it since it was family Christmas and they lost their shit when I said he wanted to have them over Christmas.  Since I'm currently living with my parents while we wait for the marital home to sell I don't want to rock the boat and he doesn't want them to hate him any more than they already do.  (he cheated, I got over it, they didn't)

I find out today that my one sister is going to "pop by for dinner" Christmas day but can only stay a few hours.  My other sister will be bringing her kids "another" day.  Sometime between Christmas and New Years...maybe...she's going to see how things go.  And they decided that no one will be buying presents for anyone else because it's too much of a hassle.  (I bought most in August and September...wonder if the store will still let me return them) My daughter's just finished MAKING presents for their Aunts and Uncles and while it's the thought that counts and you shouldn't need to receive when you give tell that to the 8 year old who spent hours sewing little ornaments or the 11 year old who spent a month's allowance to get the fimo clay and supplies she needed to make her Aunt's necklaces.  

I just called my ex and he's missed the cut off to request time off. It must be given at least 30 days before you want it. I am beyond pissed.  My family KNEW their father gave up having them for Christmas so my kids could spend time with family but decided to pull this?  I think I'll tell them all to forget the whole thing and take the kids to Great Wolf Lodge.  

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2014 at 1:40 PM
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Replies (1-7):
daisymahaffey
by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 1:46 PM
Is it possible for you to fly the kids to him? It's great that you are still trying to let him be a dad to them. I would just do my own thing with my kiddos. That wasn't very nice of your family.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 1:51 PM

At Christmas a round trip ticket is about $1400 a person and we have 4 children who are too young to fly alone so they have to be accompanied.  Right now we're living with my parents until the house I'm buying is ready in June so I can't even do things just with my kids unless we actually leave.  My sisters tend to think only of themselves.  They see nothing wrong with what they've done.  

Quoting daisymahaffey: Is it possible for you to fly the kids to him? It's great that you are still trying to let him be a dad to them. I would just do my own thing with my kiddos. That wasn't very nice of your family.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:06 PM

And thank you...he's a great father and a good friend.  He's just a really shitty husband.  

Quoting daisymahaffey: Is it possible for you to fly the kids to him? It's great that you are still trying to let him be a dad to them. I would just do my own thing with my kiddos. That wasn't very nice of your family.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:11 PM

Can you meet 1/2 way in betweem or still financially not feasible?  I am sorry.  My brother and SIL are screwing up the planning of our family Christmas too.  Its always the Saturday after NY's eve (my sister has to work holidays--she is a healthcare provider).  Brother said that that Saturday isnt good because there "might" be a football playoff game that evening.  SMH....I am sorry for you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:13 PM

 Sorry to hear things aren't going as planned. You sound like an awesome mom....not many women would be so forgiving. I hope things work out for the best for you and your family.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 3:22 PM

No, We're on one side of the country and he's on the other.  When we used to drive it it would take us 4 days with the kids.  He works shift work so with travel it ends up being a 14-16 hour day when he's working.  I moved across the country because we thought the kids needed family and my family promised up and down that they would be surrounded by family.  4 times a year for a few hours isn't being surrounded.  

I''m sorry your BIL is a twit. 


Quoting Anonymous 2:

Can you meet 1/2 way in betweem or still financially not feasible?  I am sorry.  My brother and SIL are screwing up the planning of our family Christmas too.  Its always the Saturday after NY's eve (my sister has to work holidays--she is a healthcare provider).  Brother said that that Saturday isnt good because there "might" be a football playoff game that evening.  SMH....I am sorry for you.


auntyag
by Gold Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 3:36 PM
I'm sorry your family pulled that.
We have issues this year with my sil. She is trying to make us do something Christmas eve instead of the normal family gathering we do on Christmas day. She says if we don't change days she's not coming. Sad though she makes her kids feel like crap if they leave her alone on any holiday. Yet she has no issue saying how much she hates us.
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