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have to tell ds to "omit the truth"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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I've always stood firm in the belief that you should tell the truth.

Except now, idk what to do. He has a biological brother out there. Brother is 10, ds is 9. Dad isn't involved in either of their lives. In relation to everyone on the dads side, i make sure he has a relationship with them, doing whatever I can. The brother situation was hard but every year for his bday, we'd send out a bday card.

This year, the kid actually called! Ds was/is so excited! No, they will probably not meet up anytime soon but they finally got to talk! Twice yesterday! With plans to talk later today!

But now, i gotta tell ds to not tell his paternal grandma. His brother is also her grandchild. It's gonna break her heart that she can't contact him, i don't feel comfortable giving her the number he used. Seriously, in 7 years, this is the first time anyone has heard from or about this child! Giving her the number may cause them to go back into hiding.

How do I tell ds not to say anything? He's the type that'll be excited to tell bc its big news, but then want to tell even more if someone says 'don't say anything'.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:43 PM
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DisabledVet
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:51 PM

Explain that it's up to his brother to decide to tell his grandmother. But he might very well spill the beans anyway. Can you talk to his mother about this? Perhaps she will be open to the Grandmother. After all, she isn't the one that left her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:59 PM
I didn't even speak to the mom. She later msg me on fb saying that she appreciates that we still remember her son. That no one else ever bothers with him, doesn't send cards, etc. Which is true. If i decided i didn't want to take ds over to that side of the family anymore, i doubt they'd care enough to call and see if he's ok.

I think that's why the mom kinda went into hiding. Like why bother with them, if they don't bother with us? type thing. Not that it's right, just understandable since I've felt the same way before.

Quoting DisabledVet:

Explain that it's up to his brother to decide to tell his grandmother. But he might very well spill the beans anyway. Can you talk to his mother about this? Perhaps she will be open to the Grandmother. After all, she isn't the one that left her.

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