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My child is such a disappointment.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies

My son is extremely bright.  And extremely lazy and negative.

I don't know why he is like that.  He was not raised like that, none of his siblings are like this.  

Everything he approaches, whether it be school, chores, a family outing, a new activity, he approaches it with an attitude of "I don't want to".  He picks out all the negatives in everything, he refuses to make any effort, he is defiant and uncooperative.  All he wants to do is sit and play video games.  That's it.

When he does school work, whenhe understands it, he feigns stupidity.  Not ignorance, flat out stupidity.  He acts like someone who has a disability (no offense meant to those that do).  He does not. Yes he has been tested for everything under the sun.  Bluntly put, there is no diagnosis for being a jerk.

Getting him to do anything that requires him moving or thinking is like pulling teeth.  It's infuriating.  

He doesn't have a LICK of independance.  I am not a mother who does everything for her children, his sister and brother can do their own wash, make their own meals, clean their own rooms.  Anytime I expect S to do it, he bitches and moans and says he can't do it and drags it out.  He makes everyone around him as miserable as possible whenever he is made to do something.  

It's gotten to the point where his siblings no longer want to take part in family outings because he just sucks the fun out of everything and he embarrasses us in public.

He is 17, and DH is talking about "Tough love".  He wants to boot him out of the house at 18 and make him stand on his own 2 feet.  Partly as a lesson, but I think, partly because DH can't take it anymore. I want him to finish school, but it's a constant fight.  He is failing every class except gym, and I've got a letter sent home about his "at risk" grade.  




Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
januaryqueen
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:46 PM
I think a boot camp is in order.
KendallsMommee
by Spoiled SAHM on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:47 PM
He sounds depressed.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:49 PM

I got him checked for that, he's not.  He's seen a number of psychiatrists over the years.  He has always, even as a toddler, been uncooperative, unpleasant and defiant.

Quoting KendallsMommee: He sounds depressed.


THEfunsucker
by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like my husbands brothers when they were teens and in their 20s. 2 of them are still like that, still live at home with their mama, wont work, clean nothing. They are damn near 40 years old.
You need to listen to your dh. Get him out from under your roof and make him take care of his damn self. Or 20 years from now you are still going to be taking care of him. Good luck.
Leissaintexas
by Emerald Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 2:54 PM
Some people are born that way. Its especially bad at this age. This is just the way he is. Its a recognized personality type, can't remember what its called. I've known people like this. I call them Eyeore like the donkey in Winnie the Pooh.
amje
by Maynard's Bitch on Dec. 12, 2014 at 3:00 PM
Sounds like he has come up with some very effective attention-seeking behaviors that have worked for him (I.e. Been reinforced by you guys) since his toddler years. He seems to have (unfortunately) also allowed it to become his niche in your family. Yes, I get that his behaviors only get him negative attention, but kids will take any kind of attention they can get.
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 3:00 PM

 my ds16 is that way sometimes. is he adhd / odd? mine is.

i find that when he plays video games he gets aggressive. thankfully, he doesnt even stay interested in THOSE for long. he never stays interested in anything too long!

i have had my disappointments w mine too. last year he was doing dabs (concentrated cannabis in pill form) robbed him of the little ambition he had. now, he was at risk of being SARB boarded because he couldnt get his ass to school on time. i think the presentation reached him though cuz A. he has not been late aymore and B. he was shown the average annual incomes of drop outs v. hs grad v. associates/certifications v. bachelors v. upper level degrees.

he is also not very independant. i told him he was too damn big to have me hold his hand. he got a $500 bike last year and hasnt ridden it in months because it has a flat tire. the first flat it got i took him and it in to be fixed and told him to watch so he could learn. he didnt. so when it popped again i told him to take public transit over there w it and watch and learn. doesnt want to. so no bike. thats just one thing but there are many.

idk if this bugs you but it bugs me a bit when mothers of only little kids tell me what i SHOULD be doing in a shitty tone. i should "make him" (whatever) ya you try making a 6"3 200 pound person do anything. take his stuff? tried that. no fucks. grounded? no fucks.

he is the kind of kid who has to do it himself to learn. sorry i have nothing but youre not alone.

lollip0p
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 3:02 PM
I was like that, I'm not proud to admit. If it helps any, I grew out of it eventually and I'm now a very positive, highly motivated person! Good luck.

Quoting Leissaintexas: Some people are born that way. Its especially bad at this age. This is just the way he is. Its a recognized personality type, can't remember what its called. I've known people like this. I call them Eyeore like the donkey in Winnie the Pooh.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 12, 2014 at 3:02 PM
The military seems like the place for him.
DisabledVet
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 3:04 PM

Have you ever had him evaluated for depression? If he's clinically depressed, he can't help it.

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