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before dad died, our last conversation was Christmas day...

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:55 AM
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How do I be OK? How do I not obsess over that phone call? I remember it like it was yesterday.
He called while I was on my way home from my in laws. I turned to my dh before answering, and said "I will only talk for 5 minutes. " because dh complained that I always spend forever talking with my dad. I answered and he told me how loved I was and how proud he is of me. He asked me what I got my kids for Christmas, and told me what a great mom I am. It was a great conversation. But like I promised my dh, I kept it short and sweet. But had I known that that was the last time I would ever speak to him, I would've talked all night. I miss him so much. I just want my daddy back. My mom gets so angry when I talk about missing him, because she hated him. And my dh doesn't know my pain so he can't empathize. I wish I could have saved him. I'm sad tonight.
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MissiNy
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:58 AM

He'llalways be with you... Sorry for your loss Hun...I lost my grandfather on Christmas a few years ago and it's so sad to think about all he's going to miss out on, and how much I miss him,, it sounded like he was happy before he passed...he's proud of you..keep it up

Racer15
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:00 AM
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You couldn't have known that that would be your last conversation. Take comfort in the fact that it was a happy one. So sorry for your loss ,(
blinx
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:01 AM
Thanks for the kind words. I talk about him every day, so I guess he is with me


Quoting MissiNy:

He'llalways be with you... Sorry for your loss Hun...I lost my grandfather on Christmas a few years ago and it's so sad to think about all he's going to miss out on, and how much I miss him,, it sounded like he was happy before he passed...he's proud of you..keep it up

blinx
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:02 AM
Thank you. I knew he was sick, just not to that extent

Quoting Racer15: You couldn't have known that that would be your last conversation. Take comfort in the fact that it was a happy one. So sorry for your loss ,(
momto1girl2007
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:08 AM

I lost my dad may 27 2013 Memorial Day. It was a strange situation bc I had to take him off life support. My heart bleeds even typing this.,I remember on thanksgiving day his last one he said to me alone in the car, "what if this is my last one!" And I said it wouldn't be. I was wrong.

my mom doesn't hate my dad, but she left him for another man, which he then declined in health rapidly and within three years as dead. I try to tell her how much it hurts w him gone, but she doesn't get it. Just bc she didn't love him anymore doesn't mean I didn't. She's very narcissistic.

it sucks your mom won't let you. I know I probably won't stay w SO, but when he dies, I will let dd no matter how old talk it out. That's what moms are for...to help our kids when they're hurting. I'm sorry you lack that support. As do I.

sorry to ramble. So doesn't like me talking about 'my dad either even though they got along great. It hurts.nimfind goon to his grave really helps. I decorated his gravestone with Christmas decorations. It was bittersweet and I burst into tears doing it but I felt glad to still "include" him after.

idk where you are with your grief, but I just want to say I'm sorry and I feel your pain. Losing my dad hurt like hell and still does., would decorating his grave help you? Some way to honor and include him? And I'm sorry you lost him on Christmas. 

soooowhatnow
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:11 AM
Hugs and love
theboyfactory
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 8:35 AM
I wish I had answers for you. I'm sorry. :(
christina695
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:25 AM
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my grandfather in December 1, 2013. He had only been gone for a year but i miss him so very much.
craazycuckoo
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:29 AM

I'm sorry.

And, to be honest, if my husband complained about how long I talked to my parents, I'd tell him he was free to go elsewhere while I was talking.  I understand respect but come on.  He sounds like my husband's sister's husband (yes, my BIL but I refuse to call him that)

.

jabs54
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:34 AM

I'm so sorry about your daddy :(   How blessed you are to have that last wonderful conversation!  I lost my parents when I was young.  The thing that makes me feel better is when I think of them losing their mind and living for years in a nursing home.  I would rather they died young than end their life like that.  And I also have great faith that I will be reunited with them one day.  I wish you peace!

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