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How to get a neighbor to STFU about spanking?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 51 Replies

I have two children. My 6 year old daughter is awesome. She is nearly perfectly behaved, loves school, plays well with others, and is just an ideal child in every way. Smart, kind, and thoughtful.

I also have a 4 year old son who has some behavior issues. I am learning that I can't parent him the same way I parent my daughter, so I'm getting help with that and seeing a child behavior therapist. My son plays too rough sometimes, doesn't understand some boundaries and has been flagged as possibly having ADHD and some sort of ASD.

In addition, we got puppy 2 1/2 weeks ago. He is 8 months old and incredibly smart, but can be dominant and needs lots of exercise and socializing. He doesn't bite, but can knock kids over in play and try to boss them around. We are experienced dog owners, and feel confident that he will be an excellent dog once he has had time to settle into his role and get the right training. We haven't even had him a month, for cripes' sake!

Every time we have any interaction with this neighbor guy he tells me I need to spank my kids and my dog. Yesterday he told me to tape newspaper into a baton and beat the dog senseless with it. Said to hit him hard enough on the rump that if I were hitting him on the snout it would break his nose. He tells me my son needs a belt across the ass all the time. When I tried to tell him he might have ADHD and ASD he dismissed the idea and said those disorders aren't disorders, he just needs a belt across the ass.

I've told him I disagree with spanking. That there is a mountain of evidence to say it is harmful and ineffective, and he dismisses studies because "the people who wrote the studies were never diciplined as children."

I've had it with this dude. I don't tell him how to parent his kids. I don't judge him for any of his myriad problems. I don't think he's a bad parent for spanking, honestly, I just try to mind my own business.

How do I get him to STFU about this already? I've tried being direct, I've tried being nice, I've tried countering with evidence, I've tried avoiding him, but he always manages to find me and harp on spanking and dicipline. It makes me angry, and increases my self-doubt.

Give me your best ideas. 

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:32 PM
Stop talking to him. Ignore him. Walk away from him when he talks to you.
AppleJaxx
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:32 PM
Ummmm.... I don't think that parents who spank are automatically bad parents. But that guy sounds like an abusive asshole
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Does he have kids? If so I'd call CPS on his ass and tell them that you have concerns about his discipline techniques based on what he's telling you to do to your kids
anon55
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Give him a spanking.
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:37 PM
I'd very politely encourage him to keep his fucking yap shut about how I discipline my kids or he could kindly STFU and GTFO of my face.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:38 PM
2 moms liked this
Tell him that if he thinks children who act up and not listen need a spanking than what does he think he needs for not listening to you about minding his own business? If he expects compliance out of children or they get smacked than what does he deserve as an adult who isnt compliant?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell him "your behavior is out of hand, you continue to harass me after I have asked you to stop. Perhaps I should get a belt and put it across your ass?"

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:41 PM
I agree. I know lots of good parents who spank. While I disagree with the practice, I mind my own business and let them be parents. He does seem abusive to me in a lot of ways, too. Yesterday his son didn't do what he wanted right away so he palmer the top of his head and squeezed until he sat down and almost started crying.

Quoting AppleJaxx: Ummmm.... I don't think that parents who spank are automatically bad parents. But that guy sounds like an abusive asshole
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:42 PM

And if he ever beat my dd who has ADD and our two pups who bark at strangers when they come near our house, then I would take his suggestion about the "Spanking Stick" and beat him senseless!!!  What a jerk!

4girlsmum
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 12:44 PM

I have neighbors and if I dont want to talk to them, I dont talk to them.

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