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SM & BM your thoughts?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
I found this on FB, from a group called step families United. How do you guys feel?






This is such a hot
topic with my husband and I- who have been together for 4 1/2 years. Four kids 8-15. Mine are the youngest. His are the oldest. Mine are with us 100%. His go back and forth. He and I disagree on some major things- like he lets them drink soda unlimited (like its okay for them to drink 5 cans a day. I don't let mine drink any- maybe 1 on a special occasion). I make my children do at least one "chore" a day. He doesn't. I tried to limit his children to one soda a day and have a cleaning chart, etc. I became a "dictator" (their words- largely brainwashed by their oldest sister who doesn't live with us at all- is 20 and their bm who is even worse with rules, etc). I believe that all electronics (laptops, tablets, cell phones) should be kept out of bedrooms after bedtime and charged in a neutral place- which was the first “house” rule that my husband and I DID agree on- but then his 15 year old daughter managed to talk him out of it with her laptop and skypes all night. We have had countless arguments on this- about how my younger children look up to their older step siblings- that they are their role models in life. How frustrating it is that HIS EX and HER parenting and HIS and HER parenting is RAISING MY children without MY say.
My advice- do whatever you can to come up with a strategic plan with your husband on HOW to blend the rules. You should have house rules. And
yes, different kids may need different rules; but be really careful what types
of precedent you set and why. It will save you heartache later.

s�Pl-�6
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:20 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:21 PM
I hate the concept of step parents and blending families.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:32 PM
You think families shouldnt blend at all? Parents shouldnt re-marry if kids are involved?

Quoting Anonymous 2: I hate the concept of step parents and blending families.
thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:33 PM
I agree with pp
MissusCleaver
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:35 PM
I think being a step mother is much harder than being a BM, period. You are always fighting for their respect, whether you think so or not.
MissusCleaver
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:35 PM
I think being a step mother is much harder than being a BM, period. You are always fighting for their respect, whether you think so or not.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 3:51 PM
I dont think its harder, its definitely a challenge tho. Fighting for their respect is an ongoing process...

Quoting MissusCleaver: I think being a step mother is much harder than being a BM, period. You are always fighting for their respect, whether you think so or not.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:48 PM
No

Quoting Anonymous 1: You think families shouldnt blend at all? Parents shouldnt re-marry if kids are involved?

Quoting Anonymous 2: I hate the concept of step parents and blending families.
darcibeisheim
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:24 PM
1 mom liked this
This is more of a case of a husband/ wife that can not co parent together effectively. They have major issues.

I am both a mother and step parent. All adults are adults and can effectively co parent. It is understood that different rules may apply at different houses.


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