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Attachment parenting produces dependant...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies
obnoxious brats. My friend has 4 kids all strictly "attachment" parented. I have 2 and we were more traditional and scheduled. The kids are from ages 4-12. I have worked on teaching my kids independance and self-awareness. All of the kids are decent human beings but her kids can never just go and play. We can NEVER have five minutes of adult time to chat without her big kids interupting, needing to be held etc. The whole family is on different sleeping and eating schedules. It is just a fucking disorganized mess over there. I am so glad I tossed Dr. Barry Sears right in the garbage.

There are good and bad parenting methods out there. Ultimatley we have to do what works for us.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:09 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:14 PM
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Actually the reverse is shown to be true. That attachment parenting produces more confident  children.

MsJoa
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:14 PM
Okay....
Retrokitty
by Jasmyne on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Attachment parenting done correctly is shown to produce independent children.
LogansMom1113
by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:16 PM
We attachment parented all five kids and by age 4 all were very independent and mature.
Rangermom772
by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:16 PM

I did attachment parenting. My kids have been entertaining themselves all afternoon sans moi.

sheramom4
by Emerald Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:22 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it really depends on if the parent is engaging in attachment parenting or engaging in co-dependent parenting. I see the kids with co-dependent parenting being used at school all the time. For example, a 12 year old who needs Mommy or Daddy to help with most basic of skills. Or needs to cuddle with Mommy during a parent teacher meeting or school event. A five year old whose parents are more interested in making said child not only dependent on them but also are so permissive that the child is completely out of control. 

We all engage in attachment parenting in some form or another. We hold our little ones, we cuddle when we feed them, we snuggle during a movie or take care of a boo-boo. We meet their needs. It's the parents who either can't or won't allow normal development and pulling away to happen that are creating issues for their children. 

wkukid
by Beach Bum on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:24 PM
That's weird. I practice attached parenting and my daughter is very independent. Maybe she isn't doing it right.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:36 PM
This is a friend who I respect. She has a Master's degree in cognative development and is a role model to me on many levels. But maybe you are right. Maybe she isn't doing it right. I read the book and she was definatley doing things right with her infants but by age 2 it seemed to go off the rails. All four of her kids were the WORST terrible 2's and 3's I have ever ever seen. She can't even take a call without someone "needing" her.

Quoting sheramom4:

I think it really depends on if the parent is engaging in attachment parenting or engaging in co-dependent parenting. I see the kids with co-dependent parenting being used at school all the time. For example, a 12 year old who needs Mommy or Daddy to help with most basic of skills. Or needs to cuddle with Mommy during a parent teacher meeting or school event. A five year old whose parents are more interested in making said child not only dependent on them but also are so permissive that the child is completely out of control. 

We all engage in attachment parenting in some form or another. We hold our little ones, we cuddle when we feed them, we snuggle during a movie or take care of a boo-boo. We meet their needs. It's the parents who either can't or won't allow normal development and pulling away to happen that are creating issues for their children. 

Greenenvy
by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:42 PM
I attachment parented my son but was the opposite with my twin girls. By age 4 they were all about the same as far as independence and such.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 4:42 PM

People use all these labels, yet it doesn't help narrow down what they actually mean by it. If I had to label myself I'd say I do AP, but it's nothing like you're describing here.

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