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Christmas visitation help please

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies
Dd is 13. She's supposed to have visitation with her dad for Christmas starting Monday through this coming weekend. However, her father won't tell me where he lives since his mother kicked him out for stealing from her to buy drugs (no court - acceptable proof of this except ex-mil's word and her dad admitted it to me). The last 6 months or so, I've sent dd for some weekends here and there to stay with ex-mil, and ex-mil would take her to the restaurant where her dad works for an hour to see him and eat. But ex-mil has started to talk bad about both dd's dad and me. I'm trying to scale things back with the ex-mil also because she's started to assume she has some kind of rights to dd, and that it's HER visitation time. So the last couple of weekends I didn't send her to ex-mil's house but just took her to see her dad at the restaurant instead.

Thanksgiving was also her dad's visitation time, which she spent with ex-mil who took her to IHOP and she never saw her dad at all. Now her dad is calling me saying ex-mil will be picking her up Monday morning and that he is allowed to give his time to her because he will be around this Friday when they are going to open gifts with the cousins.

We are planning on leaving Sunday night to go visit family out of state. I'm torn. I don't feel like it's completely safe to send dd over there and leave the state. Ex-mil isn't the most stable person herself. I don't think her dad would see her but a few hours even if I did, or maybe not at all.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:18 PM

If you dont you violate a court order

.PinkSunshine.
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:18 PM
My child wouldn't be going to an address I didn't know.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:19 PM
I don't want to do that, but at the same time I don't feel safe about the whole thing. I don't know what I should do.

Quoting peanutsmommy1:

If you dont you violate a court order

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:21 PM

Is there a court order?  I wouldn't violate that but if there isn't one I say don't send her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:22 PM
I don't think her dad would take her to wherever he's staying. He won't even tell his mother where that is. But I'm not sure. He did live in a weekly rental motel once for a while, and he told me he would have her sleep at ex-mil's, but he kept her in the motel anyway. She said it was a pretty scary place and noisy at night.

Quoting .PinkSunshine.: My child wouldn't be going to an address I didn't know.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:23 PM
There is. That's what I'm worried about.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Is there a court order?  I wouldn't violate that but if there isn't one I say don't send her.

.PinkSunshine.
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:23 PM
I'd take him back to court and change the visitation agreement.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I don't think her dad would take her to wherever he's staying. He won't even tell his mother where that is. But I'm not sure. He did live in a weekly rental motel once for a while, and he told me he would have her sleep at ex-mil's, but he kept her in the motel anyway. She said it was a pretty scary place and noisy at night.
Quoting .PinkSunshine.: My child wouldn't be going to an address I didn't know.
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:24 PM

If this has been going on for six mos, why didnt you take him to court before? 2 days before she is supposed to leave is not enough time to do anything

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:26 PM

 But does the court order specifically say his mother can have visits and what does it say about him having a permanent address?  Look for a loophole you can use to get out of it.

Quoting Anonymous 1: There is. That's what I'm worried about.
Quoting Anonymous 2:

Is there a court order?  I wouldn't violate that but if there isn't one I say don't send her.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:26 PM
I have no proof of what is going on. I have nothing to base a petition on that would be acceptable to the court. I honestly assumed I wouldn't even hear from her dad about it.

Quoting peanutsmommy1:

If this has been going on for six mos, why didnt you take him to court before? 2 days before she is supposed to leave is not enough time to do anything

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