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Please help?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies
I'd like insight if anyone knows about this, and I also plan to get legal advice.
My situation: I left my abusive ex. My family desperately tried to get me away from him and finally things got really bad. He sexually assaulted me and took a knife to me. I have some scars from the cuts. I never pressed charges. Instead I took the next available flight out of state to be with family.
Once I got home... I realized I'm pregnant.
Well, I plan to file for paternity and child support. I'm in a different state so can I go ahead and file for sole custody so he doesn't try something later on? If he doesn't show to court in this state does that mean I'll get sole custody?
Thanks for any helpful information!
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
PeppermintyTea
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:47 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry I don't know. Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:49 PM
Is this your only child? Does he know where you are?
the_dude
by abides on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Abumps for someone who knows.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:51 PM
Quoting Anonymous 2: Is this your only child? Does he know where you are?



Yes and no he doesn't know where I am. He knows I have family here but I have family elsewhere too. He doesn't know the city or address I'm at in this state.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:54 PM
2 moms liked this
If you don't want him having anything to do with your child, you should never tell him you are pregnant. Stay out of contact with him. Honestly, that's what I would do.

I've heard too many situations where the abusive boyfriend got joint custody because being abusive towards the mother does not mean abusive towards the child.

Don't tell him and move on.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:54 PM
I wouldn't file for child support then - that could allow him rights to visitation with the child.

If I were you I'd raise the child on my own and never look back.

Quoting Anonymous 1:
Quoting Anonymous 2: Is this your only child? Does he know where you are?



Yes and no he doesn't know where I am. He knows I have family here but I have family elsewhere too. He doesn't know the city or address I'm at in this state.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:57 PM
Quoting Anonymous 2: I wouldn't file for child support then - that could allow him rights to visitation with the child.

If I were you I'd raise the child on my own and never look back.

Quoting Anonymous 1:
Quoting Anonymous 2: Is this your only child? Does he know where you are?



Yes and no he doesn't know where I am. He knows I have family here but I have family elsewhere too. He doesn't know the city or address I'm at in this state.


That's why I wondered if I could file for sole custody.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 5:59 PM
You could buy why take the risk? If he's an ass he may fight for custody just to irritate you.

Quoting Anonymous 1:
Quoting Anonymous 2: I wouldn't file for child support then - that could allow him rights to visitation with the child.

If I were you I'd raise the child on my own and never look back.

Quoting Anonymous 1:
Quoting Anonymous 2: Is this your only child? Does he know where you are?



Yes and no he doesn't know where I am. He knows I have family here but I have family elsewhere too. He doesn't know the city or address I'm at in this state.


That's why I wondered if I could file for sole custody.
ilikecatsyo
by Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 6:02 PM

You can win sole custody, HOWEVER, if there were no police reports/hospitalizations or any other kind of record then it's only an allegation. He will get supervised visits for a period of time until you guys go back to court, after that if he has been taking advantage of his visits he will get more regular unsupervised visitation.

I know from experience.

family in the van Young mom to 4 WONDERFUL kids and shop owner at: https://www.etsy.com/shop/Gettingstitches 

peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 6:04 PM

If you file for cs, he will be able to know where you live and file for joint custody or visitation

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