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mother helping 13 year old son bathe..edited

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 99 Replies
So my sister and her three children moved I'm with me a few months ago. She has 1 girl who's 8 and two boys who are 3 and 13. While we get along very well and don't really have any issues there is one thing that she does that really bothers me. What bothers me is that she helps her 13 year old son bath and washes his hair. First of all it bothers me because I feel her son is way too old for her to be seeing naked. I have a 14 year old son and would never dream of invading his privacy. Second and what I feel bothers me most is that aside from my boy I also have 3 girls and all my kids have asked me why their Aunt is helping their cousin bathe. My two oldest girls were molested by their father when they were younger and so we have been big on respect and privacy when it comes to our bodies. No I don't think there's any thing inappropriate going on, but it still bothers me just the same. I have spoken to her before about how I feel, yet nothing has changed.
Do you feel 13 is too old to have a parent help a child bathe? How would you deal with this situation?
Edit-
No my nephew is not special needs. He did have leukemia, but has been in remission for over a year. I believe that it has just become a habit from when he was sick, but I still think it's wrong.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2014 at 8:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Zombienator9
by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:01 PM
My SIL does this!!! It drives me nuts! I think its gross, so does dh... I actually asked if maybe his mom did that growing up and that's wy she thinks it's normal he said no once they hit 5 their mom stopped bathing them... Mil doesn't say anything but DH and I like I said think it's gross.
TisHerself
by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:04 PM
1 mom liked this

That is WAY too old for her to be helping him in this way. No normal 13-year-old requires the help, and her invasion of his privacy and proper boundaries are disturbing. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:05 PM
I agree with you. To me it's just gross and wrong. I thing a part of her does it because my nephew had leukemia and has been in remission for the last year. Maybe it became a habit from when he was sick.

Quoting Zombienator9: My SIL does this!!! It drives me nuts! I think its gross, so does dh... I actually asked if maybe his mom did that growing up and that's wy she thinks it's normal he said no once they hit 5 their mom stopped bathing them... Mil doesn't say anything but DH and I like I said think it's gross.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:05 PM
1 mom liked this
He doesn't tell his mother he doesn't need her help?
blue-heart
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Is he special needs? If not. Then that is totally weird and gross.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:08 PM
How does the kid feel about that
susannah2000
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:08 PM

If he is not sick now,and in need of help, she should NOT be in the bathroom with him while he bathes. This is clear violation of a teen's privacy and boundaries.

fullxbusymom
by Sapphire Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:09 PM

We don't have an issue with nudity in my house.  My kids still see me and their dad naked.  They walk around in their underwear without an issue.  However, I can not see why any parent unless they had a special needs child would need to bathing their 13yr old child. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:09 PM
I don't know if he ever has, but I know he's gets super embarrassed when my kids ask why his mom is in there while he bathes.

Quoting Anonymous 2: He doesn't tell his mother he doesn't need her help?
Rebirth0112
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 9:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I would just be blunt. Tell her while it may be completely normal to her, it is pushing inappropriate and if the wrong person heard that she was doing this they might call childrens services. Its just wierd at that age and she needs to be establishing better boundaries
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