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Step moms or "support parents" Come hither I have a question

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

My ex has his first super serious relationship. Thye have been together a long time and moved in together this last summer and for the first time ever dh, myself and my other children are invited over to spend xmas with them. 

My question is what kinds of things would you find annoying or great in that situation? What kind of hostess gift would you like? I want to dress nice but not too nice because I don't want her to think I am trying to outshine her. Is it weird to think that way? This is all new territory for me. 


I have only ever had 1 conversation with her and only said hi to her a few times. I just do not want to do anything in her home that is a faux pas, ya know.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:30 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:34 PM

bump

MommyTo5Boys
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:35 PM

Just be yourself, if you're being fake she'll know and it will just be weird. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:38 PM
Maybe bring wine if you guys drink. I personally don't and with having a kid, I just have sparkling cider. Lol the kids think it's wine, but it's safe for us (i have liver problems).

kmss
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:40 PM

Be friendly, but not awkward about it. The last time I saw BM she gave me a suuuuuuper long hug while we were surrounded by members of my husband's family. I was pregnant at the time and yeah. Weird. After she pulled away her new husband looks at me and laughs "Well, that was awkward".

Dress as you would going to anyone's house for the holidays. When I host stuff I really don't care if my guests look better than me. I'm not looking to "shine" haha.

A good hostesss gift is usually a bottle of Wine, but if you want to avoid alcohol I suggest a scented candle or something of that  ilk. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:48 PM

Thank you =) I actually dislike hugging so I guess that is a good thing. 

Quoting kmss:

Be friendly, but not awkward about it. The last time I saw BM she gave me a suuuuuuper long hug while we were surrounded by members of my husband's family. I was pregnant at the time and yeah. Weird. After she pulled away her new husband looks at me and laughs "Well, that was awkward".Dress as you would going to anyone's house for the holidays. When I host stuff I really don't care if my guests look better than me. I'm not looking to "shine" haha.

A good hostesss gift is usually a bottle of Wine, but if you want to avoid alcohol I suggest a scented candle or something of that  ilk. 


BibliophileMom
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:55 PM
Well I'm not a stepmom but I have one. And my mom and all of us get together occasionally. We are tomorrow in fact for a huge cookie baking day. I guess the only thing that has ever happened that feels awkward is if my mom spurts out something like she really really KNOWS my dad still. Yes, they spent 25 years together and obviously she knows him, but bringing it up is awkward. Like I think we were discussing cake and SM was saying how my dad loves carrot cake and my mom just had to put in a oh I know, it's his favorite. Stuff like that, makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe it's just me and my SM thinks nothing of it but I don't know. Don't make references to the past in that context. If its a memory with the kids, that's one thing. But if it's something unnecessary to add, then don't.

Otherwise, just act natural. :) I think it's great when family's can get together after divorce like that. It's certainly made it easier on my brother and I.
AngelSinger
by MS Warrior on Dec. 20, 2014 at 10:57 PM
My kids love sparkling cider. We have it every year.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Maybe bring wine if you guys drink. I personally don't and with having a kid, I just have sparkling cider. Lol the kids think it's wine, but it's safe for us (i have liver problems).

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