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Mother in Law, You DON'T Know Best!!!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 111 Replies

so ive been seeing a therapist for awhile, and in our discussions we've come up with a plan to help me with coping on my feelings about her, and so my therapist and i worded out an exact response to what i should send her over text messaging because the therapist and i along with my husband are well aware that if i were to call her that she would just hang up.

so i sent her the following text message:

"At the advice of my therapist, after many lengthy sessions/indepth discussions, we feel as though that in the best interests of me and my children, that you are no longer apart of my life or apart of their lives as well, as for canyn, that is between you and him.

there will be no contact between u and me or you and my children, of any sort, including facebook or phone calls/text messages.

you will not recieve pictures of me and my children from me, however if your son chooses to share that with you, that is his decision/right as a parent. please respect my wishes and understand that this is at the advice of a licensed professional. thank you"

This is her response:

"Im glad you are seeing a therapist. i have not contacted (you) on purpose letting you be (the) one to the first move. I have treated you with respect and kindness and maybe someday you will see that. In the mean time i will be calling my son from time to time and leaving you as i have been doing. I am forwarding this text to my children."

and then she send my message and her response to everyone in the family, wtf?!?!??! what is that going to accomplish?

My SIL sent her a message saying this: "Wow!!! That's just sad, sorry you are in that boat Tammy (my mother in law)!!! love you mama"

and my MIL replied with:
" Love you too. just thought with the jolidays i should let everyone know what's going on. Besides i think its best to air it all out, nothing to hide i have done nothing wrong but take her in twice and show her love. hopefully she will see that someday"

And my SIL replied with: "I hope so. Because you were there for her when couldn't even depend on her blood to be!"

Update #2:

So SIL (C, first letter of her first name), C responds with the following two messages

C: I'm sorry mama. This was wrong of her. Literally got off work at 110 btw so sorry my response is late. Don't let her bother. She just wants to ruin another thing

C: I don't know why but I know it hurts. But she won't ruin christmas. Let it pass.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I am sorry.  I also see a therapist over MIL.  She actually is making me sick and I believe she is shortening my life and she diminishes the quality of my life significantly.

by MS Warrior on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:15 PM
I had a similar problem with my stepmonster. My first email was nice, she turned nasty...and I sent nasty right on back and cut ties. When she altered my email and forwarded her version to family members, I put the original on my blog...and never spoke to her again.

Sometimes, a bridge just needs to be burned.

Good luck. ((Hugs))
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:15 PM
Smh. I am sorry you have to go through something like that. Sending some good energy your way. ☺
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't have contacted her at all.
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:15 PM
Its going to let them see the truth...neither of u can change ur story now so just let it go...its word for word no ad libbing
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:16 PM
It is hard when you try so hard and someone doesn't love, like or even respect you, isn't it? I read a lot of MIL stories and I just pray I do not become like her.
by AZ Lizard on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:16 PM

You've written about "Canyn" before and I didn't agree with you then.

I do, however, appreciate the response of your MIL. 

You have a right to stay away from your MIL if that is your choosing, but I do think it's sad that you've made it a package deal with your kid's. 

Her forwarding the message was her decision and though it wasn't necessary for her to do so, why would any of this between you and her need to remain secret?

by MS Warrior on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:19 PM
1 mom liked this
As to your question re: the forwarding...

People like that like to play the victim. The wording of her text was saying, "See? I told you she was crazy! I am nice and kind to her and the big meanie keeps my grandkids from me!" She needs to be right. You need to not care what she does anymore, so long as you and your kids are left alone. It's hard, I know, but if you stick with it, and reduce her from your life, she soon will seem like a very silly person you're better off without. It will get easier.
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:23 PM
I don't know the back story but what she does with the text is her business. It's over said and done time to move forward if your husbands siblings take issue with it that's on them as well.
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 11:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Let it be.  Speaking from experience, the truth will come out

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