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This is my first year scaling back gifts, and now I'm having second thoughts.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 47 Replies

I feel bad now and am second guessing if this was a good idea.  I hate thinking of ds disappointed.

I grew up very poor, in a house that was so neglectful I was removed by child protection.  I overcompensate with me own kid.  I am admitting on cm, I have a parenting fault *GASP*

This past year I noticed my DS9 has a become a bit materialistic and entitled and realized the mistake I've made.  

This year I didn't buy as much as I normally would, we've spoken a lot about the meaning of christmas (not about the gifts) and I have told him it won't be as extravagant this year, but now I am second guessing myself.

I don't want him to feel that sadness of wanting.  I don't want him to feel the sting of disappointment, or to feel like he missed out.  

I wish I'd bought more, but it's too late now. This is what he's got, there are 3 legos sets, some clothes, books, and various small toys.  No electronics and only the legos for "big ticket" items.  (the 3 red stockings are the cats).

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
casah4
by on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:50 AM

I did the same thing for the same reasons. I did prep them that we were scaling back and they accept that. I felt a little bad a few times because I want to make them really happy, but then I tell myself that going overboard and giving them whatever they want caused this problem. I have to put a stop to it. I figure it will get easier.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:52 AM

I honestly find the hardest part of parenting is the second guessing myself.  Now that I see the gifts under the tree I wonder if I am doing the right thing.

I hope it gets easier!

Quoting casah4:

I did the same thing for the same reasons. I did prep them that we were scaling back and they accept that. I felt a little bad a few times because I want to make them really happy, but then I tell myself that going overboard and giving them whatever they want caused this problem. I have to put a stop to it. I figure it will get easier.


rosemagic01
by Ruby Member on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:53 AM
That's plenty. Stack them up though so it doesn't look so scattered. It will help it look more full.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:54 AM

Did you forget to put the tree skirt down?  I don't understand.

bluelace777
by on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:54 AM

Great job! I think that is plenty, seriously. It's ok if he ends up being disappointed a little...because it's a big change. What were previous years like?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:56 AM
1 mom liked this

there is a tree skirt...

And that's not what this post is remotely about.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Did you forget to put the tree skirt down?  I don't understand.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:56 AM
I also scaled back this year and while wrapping presents tonight I started to regret it. I know she will love her stuff...I just love having a full tree.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:56 AM

Looks fine.  I was a culprit of buying my kids ton of crap when they were younger.  They had some much stuff, only 25% ever got played with.  It's a waste of money to to over buy.  Then when the following birthday or Christmas came around, it eventually got hard to think about what to get them when they had practically almost everything.

holyhoola
by on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:57 AM
2 moms liked this
I was feeling the same way, so I made them coupon books.
They included a movie pass, bowling, skating and a season pass to our amusement park and water park.
Zazayam
by Ruby Member on Dec. 25, 2014 at 12:57 AM

I think it looks like a very nice Christmas :)

If you're really feeling bad, go write up some coupons for bonding time. Like 'one lunch at restaurant of your choice' or whatever, and make the holiday more about family time and creating memories. That way you still get to overcompensate but you don't go into the materialistic side, lol.

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