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I really wish I had not been part of this conversation.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
I was stuck in the middle of a divorce as a child. One where my mom was asking me to talk to my dad about child support and where they talked shit about each other. It really sucked.

Tonight we had my step dad's family Christmas party. I was sitting in the room when my uncle started talking to his youngest daughter. He barely talks to either of them and tends to push both his bio daughters to the side for his new girlfriends/wives kids. Which is just sad since they are grown and have no need for yet another father figure in their lives. He tells his youngest that his oldest daughter doesn't call him and he hasn't talked to her in a year. Then tells her she needs to talk the oldest daughter and get her to communicate with him.

It's not her fucking job to repair their relationship. I saw how uncomfortable she was and recognized it from things I have gone through. I really wished I had said something. He is being a jerk and it is completely unfair for him to put her in that position. It is his job to fix his relationship with her. He screwed up big time but instead of taking responsibility he puts his other child in the middle.

I completely understand why she doesn't talk to him. If he wants a relationship with her he needs to earn it. For the younger one at least she has a good mom but the older one has two shitty parents. She needs one of them to step up and act like a decent parent but they are both too busy moving on with their lives too give a shit. So instead they drag other people into the middle of it and fuck up their relationships.
These poor girls deserve so much better.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:13 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:25 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:29 AM
It's not your job to save her from her father.

Let it go.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:35 AM
Ehh. Shit happenes I dont talk to either parent or bith sides of rhe family I hsve a select few I keep in touch with and to be honest its for the better. Just let it be hell realize someday
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:46 AM
Just like how everyone let it go with me and how that eats me up or how my mom talks about her mom and how it hurt my aunt when her mom did the same thing?

It seems to me that letting it go is a part of the problem. Sure, it's easier but from experience it hurts the person more that no one gives a shit. I don't think making the same mistakes is the best way to go. It's even worse on my end since I know that it hurts people.

I would rather make new mistakes than repeat the same old ones that I know are wrong.

Quoting Anonymous 2: It's not your job to save her from her father.

Let it go.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:49 AM
You're not going to win.

But if it makes you feel better to speak up, go for it.

Good luck.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Just like how everyone let it go with me and how that eats me up or how my mom talks about her mom and how it hurt my aunt when her mom did the same thing?

It seems to me that letting it go is a part of the problem. Sure, it's easier but from experience it hurts the person more that no one gives a shit. I don't think making the same mistakes is the best way to go. It's even worse on my end since I know that it hurts people.

I would rather make new mistakes than repeat the same old ones that I know are wrong.

Quoting Anonymous 2: It's not your job to save her from her father.

Let it go.
mommy_Frias
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:49 AM
Lots of parents do this sadly
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you for caring.  As an adult whose parents divorced late in life, i have so much compassion for the kids who are dragged into these crummy situations by loser parents.  Tell your uncle.  What will you lose?  It seems like no one calls the parents on their bs self justification...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:57 AM
My parents use to do this all the time, especially when they got into arguments and when my siblings didn't listen. I use to hear a lot of horrible trash talking. Hopefully he'll realize how hurtful it is but some people never do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:58 AM
I may lose in the end but I will know I did the right thing. I have been spending a lot of time with my own kid trying to do better than my own family did and I may have let myself down during the conversation but I can definitely do better.

Thank you, your first comment led me in the right direction. I don't want to make the same mistakes.

Quoting Anonymous 2: You're not going to win.

But if it makes you feel better to speak up, go for it.

Good luck.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Just like how everyone let it go with me and how that eats me up or how my mom talks about her mom and how it hurt my aunt when her mom did the same thing?

It seems to me that letting it go is a part of the problem. Sure, it's easier but from experience it hurts the person more that no one gives a shit. I don't think making the same mistakes is the best way to go. It's even worse on my end since I know that it hurts people.

I would rather make new mistakes than repeat the same old ones that I know are wrong.

Quoting Anonymous 2: It's not your job to save her from her father.

Let it go.
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