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How do you get your kids to respect you!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies
I've talked to many different parents and it seems like they believe differently on this subject. Also, some of them are very judgemental to other parents who have different tactics.

So how do you?

Some parents I know say they demand it, that if their child talks to them disrespectful (which honestly is the exact same way the parents talk to them) that they will demand them to respect them and punish the kid.

Some other ones I know believe that the best way is to demonstrate it. They believe you can't expect a child to talk to you respfully if you don't talk to them that way.

I have 2 bffs and they are polar opposites when it comes to this. Sorry for any typos, it's late and I'm moble.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:27 AM
Bump
elzmnsf
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:30 AM
I think well defined boundaries and expectations coupled with modelling appropriate behavior and conversation about the why's of how we act and what we say and the things that our actions and words convey is a pretty good option.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:40 AM
Demand it. Because honestly, that's how the real world works. When they are adults and working, do you think their boss is gonna show them respect first? No not likely. They need to learn how to cope in real world.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:41 AM
That sounds good.

I'm just curious because it seems like my one friend isreally judgemental if any child displays any form of ddisrespect to their parents by either talking back or not listening yet she will sit there and get into screaming matches with her oldest yet on the other hand she doesn't really hold her other ones accountable. I'm more of in the middle. I don't believe that kids are born knowing how to be respectful and it needs to be taught mostly by example, but that there are times that require punishment.

Quoting elzmnsf: I think well defined boundaries and expectations coupled with modelling appropriate behavior and conversation about the why's of how we act and what we say and the things that our actions and words convey is a pretty good option.
tinybluemoon
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:42 AM

For my family I think it might just be culture. I'm half Japanese, in our culture you just do not speak back or disrespect your parents, it just not even enter your mind to do so. If you are told (never asked, always told) to do something, you get up and do it then and there, God help you if you need to be asked twice. That's how I was raised and I raise my children exactly the same. I don't know why it works that way, but it does.

cybcm
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:46 AM

Demanded respect isn't respect, it's a front that keeps you out of trouble, I know a lot about that type.

I'm of the belief that you gain respect by showing respect, it's very hard to change the behaviours of someone who is not you, but you have more of a chance if you gain their respect legitimately, through showing that respect to them, and modelling the type of behaviour that you want them to emulate.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:46 AM

 LMAO

Quoting tinybluemoon:

For my family I think it might just be culture. I'm half Japanese, in our culture you just do not speak back or disrespect your parents, it just not even enter your mind to do so. If you are told (never asked, always told) to do something, you get up and do it then and there, God help you if you need to be asked twice. That's how I was raised and I raise my children exactly the same. I don't know why it works that way, but it does.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:47 AM
You do have a point. But I'm just curious, by only demanding it it seems like trial and error on how to get it right. For example like in the real world, when a person first starts a job they aren't immediately put in front of the computer with no training and then constantly getting yelled at every time the hit a wrong button. So how do you teach them?

Quoting Anonymous 2: Demand it. Because honestly, that's how the real world works. When they are adults and working, do you think their boss is gonna show them respect first? No not likely. They need to learn how to cope in real world.
elzmnsf
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:48 AM
I know people like that. Women who talk disrespectful to their kids, husbands, everyone else just in general yet expect their children to address them and others in a different way. Those kids have no reference point for what respect looks like. And if all that you do is demand respect while not giving it one day you will find all you ever had was a kid acting like they respected you out of self preservation and now you have an adult who thinks that you are a pos and has zero respect for you. No thanks.

Quoting Anonymous 1: That sounds good.

I'm just curious because it seems like my one friend isreally judgemental if any child displays any form of ddisrespect to their parents by either talking back or not listening yet she will sit there and get into screaming matches with her oldest yet on the other hand she doesn't really hold her other ones accountable. I'm more of in the middle. I don't believe that kids are born knowing how to be respectful and it needs to be taught mostly by example, but that there are times that require punishment.

Quoting elzmnsf: I think well defined boundaries and expectations coupled with modelling appropriate behavior and conversation about the why's of how we act and what we say and the things that our actions and words convey is a pretty good option.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:49 AM
So that is more of a demand.

Quoting tinybluemoon:

For my family I think it might just be culture. I'm half Japanese, in our culture you just do not speak back or disrespect your parents, it just not even enter your mind to do so. If you are told (never asked, always told) to do something, you get up and do it then and there, God help you if you need to be asked twice. That's how I was raised and I raise my children exactly the same. I don't know why it works that way, but it does.

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