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attachment parenting is a term that makes me nauseous

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 61 Replies
3 moms liked this

I don't disagree with attachment parenting in any way. I understand that there is research to support it, I get that it works wonderfully for some people, and I also understand that it's truly fulfilling for some women.

But omg the term "being attached to your child for their first year" makes me seriously want to vomit. I'm such an independent person. I adore my kids (who are 8 and 10 now), I take off work for all of their big events, I do their homework with them, volunteer at their school, take them on vacations, all of that jazz. But I also really REALLY value my own identity. I am a mother, yes. But I'm also so much more. I have studied hard, worked hard, given so much of myself to contibute to the world. I want to die as a someone important, with my name in text books and as a reference to change. And I want my children to do the same. Three separate people, three separate, amazing lives.

I'm not saying that none of you are like this, and I do realize that most women on here are stay at home moms. And I know that I chose to have a child. I guess I just see being a mom as my responsibility, not as my contribution. 

I always feel bad saying that in public though. I feel like I'm going to hurt someone's feelings, or that someone whose mom stayed at home with them would be offended, like I was badmouthing their mother. Again, I don't look down on anyone who is a SAHM, I get that not all people think like I do or even have the capacity or even the desire to do what I do. These are just my ramblings.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kappalopokis
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:51 PM
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I am perfectly happy being nothing more than a mom. But it is okay and admirable for someone to want more.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:52 PM


Quoting kappalopokis: I am perfectly happy being nothing more than a mom. But it is okay and admirable for someone to want more.

And it is admirable what you do as well. :)

Thank you!

PacMan80
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:54 PM
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I'm a SAHM and agree. We're all 3 different people, but for me, I couldn't and wouldn't want them attached to me 24/7. I didn't BF, didn't co-sleep, but am bonded to my children all the same. Different strokes for different folks.
bellaamore
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:55 PM
I am a stay at home mom. I also identify with attachment parenting, though I don't like to label myself and just follow my gut when it comes to my kids.
I'm not offended at all by your post. It really isn't for everyone... even if it may be the best option, even in my opinion, or as a fact, for our children, it doesn't always make it the best option for our LIVES.

I too want to change the world. I want to bring love and give it to everyone. I want to show the light inside of me to everyone. I want my children to be strong and independent and great people who stand for something great. So many different styles of parentingeven negligible, have brought up children who fit this mold.

Be who you are and the best parent you can be, and love with everything inside of you. Follow your heart and your gut, don't be afraid of messing up, and if you do, say you're sorry and try to make it right. This is the only RIGHT kind of parenting, no matter what the philosophy behind it.

It sounds like you are a wonderful mother and that you lead by example for your children to follow their dreams. Those things matter so much more than the label placed upon your parenting philosophy. Anyone offended by how YOU parent YOUR kids is overstepping boundaries anyway.
Be blessed, mama.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:55 PM
I always tell people no matter what I accomplish in my life, my greatest accomplishments are my children.

But everyone is entitled to live their lives as they see fit, do what makes yah happy!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:57 PM
1 mom liked this

aw, this was a really nice reply! Thank you!

Quoting bellaamore: I am a stay at home mom. I also identify with attachment parenting, though I don't like to label myself and just follow my gut when it comes to my kids. I'm not offended at all by your post. It really isn't for everyone... even if it may be the best option, even in my opinion, or as a fact, for our children, it doesn't always make it the best option for our LIVES. I too want to change the world. I want to bring love and give it to everyone. I want to show the light inside of me to everyone. I want my children to be strong and independent and great people who stand for something great. So many different styles of parentingeven negligible, have brought up children who fit this mold. Be who you are and the best parent you can be, and love with everything inside of you. Follow your heart and your gut, don't be afraid of messing up, and if you do, say you're sorry and try to make it right. This is the only RIGHT kind of parenting, no matter what the philosophy behind it. It sounds like you are a wonderful mother and that you lead by example for your children to follow their dreams. Those things matter so much more than the label placed upon your parenting philosophy. Anyone offended by how YOU parent YOUR kids is overstepping boundaries anyway. Be blessed, mama.


firespurity
by Emerald Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:57 PM
Attachment parenting is actually a very vague concept. By most I'd be considered an attachment parent, but I only did baby wearing if we went in public. You can breastfeed, or not. You can co sleep, or not. You can baby wear, or not. You can use pacifiers, or not.
Momniscient
by Emerald Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:58 PM
I am not defined by motherhood. It's a big part of who I am but doesn't comprise all of me.

To each their own. Attachment parenting as a philosophy holds no interest for me.
momto1girl2007
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:59 PM
You're taking the term out of context
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:59 PM
I am a mom who was completely happy not leaving my girls for more than a couple hours at a time for a good year plus. But some arent and I do not think they are bad moms because of it.
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