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BUTT out.....Let US deal with it

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 6:51 PM
  • 13 Replies

Ex has the kids on the weekends. I will pick up whoever wants to go to church with me on sunday morning and then take them back to their dads after. If none of them want to go with me so be it. (Ex is cool with this, he does not go to church, but allows the kids to make their own decisions on the matter)

Ex and I get along so it's not unheard of for us to do things together with the kids. We go and sit together at school plays, if they are singing in church Ex will come to see them, if they have a birthday party with cousins, we all go together. This may change in the future, I don't know, but for now it's how it works.


Today, we were all invited on a play date with DS's BFF and her family. Since I had 2 of the kids with me from church, I  dropped the kids back off and told EX to meet me at the trampoline place at 3 with the kids (we had already discussed this yesterday, and he wanted to come too). The kids wanted to stay with me, I told them no, that it was time to say with their dad and I would see them later at the jump place and they were coming home tonight. They begged again I said no, hugged them and was walked out the door.

During all this EXMIL come out (Ex lives with mom) and starts ranting and raving that it's Ex's time and I need to stop interfearing with it and it's my fault the kids don't want to stay there and I should only make plans on MY TIME.

Um okay crazy lady, I don't make plans on Ex's time unless I clear it with him first since he has them every weekend right now (his shift is changing next week) and I don't interfere with his time, If there is something going on, I will meet them there, I don't take the kids after, they go with him. They are little they want their mom and ask to go with me, but I know they are well taken care of by their dad and they are happy there. So with dad they go.  Please Butt out. We are trying to do the best we can for the kids and I am not trying to do anything to ruin their relationship with their dad!!

by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 6:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jessi2girls
by Emerald Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 6:56 PM

If you and ex are good with the arrangement that is all that matters.. 

The kids, as you said, are likely just missing their mom, and if they are young, that tends to be pretty normal.. especially if this is still more recent (within the past year)...If you suspected something else, from the sounds of it, I'm sure you'd react differently, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

I wish my ex were stable and we could make arrangements like this lol. 

TheRingmaster
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 6:56 PM
She's bitter. Just ignore her.
Mom2_Jimmy_Anka
by Samantha on Dec. 28, 2014 at 6:59 PM

I think it is great that you and ex can put aside your issues for the sake of the kids. I know of a few families that are like this and the kids really benefit from it.

PacMan80
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 7:02 PM
That's great you and your XH are cool. His mom needs to butt out, as you both clearly have everything under control
CheerioHolder
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 7:05 PM
Seems like she's upset that they don't prefer her over you or something. She'll just have to get over that. It's none of her business what you do with your children, especially outside of her home. Good for you that you keep a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex , many women struggle with that. Sounds like you're a great mother with your kids' best interest in mind.
EponineVader
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 7:15 PM

Sometimes I think that's it. 

Once my DD5 had a double ear infection and what turned out to be a infection behind her molar. I had taken her to the Dr earlier that day and then dropped her off with her dad since it was his night.

DD screamed for me for hours (I was at work) finally, EXDH called me at work and asked if I would be willing to pick her up after work and keep her over night, since she wanted me so bad. I agreed and went to get her.

As soon as I showed up and cuddled with her for a minute she calmed down, and EXMIL stomped off in a huff, pissed because I got her calm down and she couldn't

Quoting CheerioHolder: Seems like she's upset that they don't prefer her over you or something. She'll just have to get over that. It's none of her business what you do with your children, especially outside of her home. Good for you that you keep a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex , many women struggle with that. Sounds like you're a great mother with your kids' best interest in mind.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 7:18 PM
I would tell her that she's the one hurting the situation and if it continues and she keeps causing problems especially in front of the kids you will be in the right to take legal action. My ex's mother did stuff like that and continue to cause a problem. I brought it up at court and the judge ordered that she can't be around our kids for 6 months
EponineVader
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 7:24 PM

BUMP!

CheerioHolder
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 7:34 PM
I would just do your best to avoid her and fake a smile and be nice when you're forced to see her. You know you're doing the right thing, so don't let her bother you. I think it's pretty common for women to be jealous of their daughter in law. No one wants to feel unneeded, which is likely how she feels. She has her son and grand babies all living with her, yet none of them need her. They just want you. While yes she is out of line, just try to be understanding. I have an awful mother in law, but I always try to remind myself one day I will be the mother in law/ grand parent too. One day our kids will grow up and have their own lives and not want us all the time :-( I imagine that's somewhat hard to accept, which is what your MIL is dealing with.

I hope things get better for you! Like I said before, you should be really proud that you co-parent so well! :-)

Quoting EponineVader:

Sometimes I think that's it. 

Once my DD5 had a double ear infection and what turned out to be a infection behind her molar. I had taken her to the Dr earlier that day and then dropped her off with her dad since it was his night.

DD screamed for me for hours (I was at work) finally, EXDH called me at work and asked if I would be willing to pick her up after work and keep her over night, since she wanted me so bad. I agreed and went to get her.

As soon as I showed up and cuddled with her for a minute she calmed down, and EXMIL stomped off in a huff, pissed because I got her calm down and she couldn't

Quoting CheerioHolder: Seems like she's upset that they don't prefer her over you or something. She'll just have to get over that. It's none of her business what you do with your children, especially outside of her home. Good for you that you keep a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex , many women struggle with that. Sounds like you're a great mother with your kids' best interest in mind.

EponineVader
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 11:26 PM

That what I am saying, Even Ex agree's.  He just won't stand up to his mom, he basically ignores her when she does that but won't say anything to her.

Quoting PacMan80: That's great you and your XH are cool. His mom needs to butt out, as you both clearly have everything under control


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