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Dealing With Overprotective Parents (Possible Triggers)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 97 Replies

You Can't Sleep Over Because He's Going to Molest You!!

Do you know anyone that thinks this way? I have a friend that Insists that she will not allow her daughter to spend the night anywhere because someone could rape or molest her daughter. She won't let her spend the night at her mother's house because her sister and BIL live there. She won't let her spend the night at her father's house, and I don't know why. She has told me that the only reason she allows her daughter to have overnight visits with her father is becaue there's a court order. she says that she is the only one she trusts with her daughter.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that as a parent, we do anything we have to do to protect our children. However, when do you let your child out of the bubble you've put them in? My friend talks mad shit about me because I haven't sheltered my children. I've allowed my oldest to spend the night with friends and family as long as I know them and trust them. I don't understand why some parents think that people are out to get their children, and that letting them out of their sight is detrimental to their development.  

I have asked her if she was sexually abused as a child, or if she had been sexually assaulted as an adult. She said no. I asked her if someone had hurt her daughter, she said no. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse. She doesn't understand how I can allow my daughters to be out of my sight. I just don't get it. 

The real reason I have an issue with it is because I am planning a sleepover at my home for my daughter's seventh birthday. I told her to pick four friends, and my friend's daughter was one of them. I told her about the party, and her response was that her daughter wasn't allowed to go. I told her that she could spend the night with us, and she said that it was out of the question. I also told her that her daughter could just come to the party part earlier in the day. She said no. Her issue isn't solely with the sleepover and the party, but it's also with the fact (according to her) that I didn't take her feelings into consideration because if I was a true friend, I wouldn't throw MY DAUGHTER a party that HER DAUGHTER can't attend. She also said that her daughter can't spend the night because my SO (who is the father of my children) is a child molestor. Seriously?! My daughter's happiness is my priority, and I wouldn't be with my SO if he was a child molestor. 

I don't understand her. She thinks that everyone is going to hurt her child, and if they're a man, they're going to molest or rape her. 

I am upset. I really want my daughter to have her friends there, and although I understand that she has this "rule" that I feel is ludicrous, I think she can allow her daughter to be happy for a couple of hours while she enjoys some cake and ice cream. I told my daughter about it and she's upset because she wants her to be there too. Our girls have been friends since they were tots. I am sad for my daughter, and I don't know what to do. But, at the same time, this woman is toxic and I want to cut her off. I feel so badly for her daughter that I can't seem to do it though.

WWYD?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:05 PM

BUMP!

Sorry it's long. 

KairisMama
by Emerald Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:07 PM
4 moms liked this
That's sad for the child. She'll probably grow up and rebel against her crazy mom. That's extreme overprotection imo.
PacMan80
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:08 PM

Well, if she's not even going to spend the night so DD can, that's lazy.  

i wouldn't think twice about my kids spending the night with a family I trust.

Missdameanor
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:09 PM
4 moms liked this

It sounds like SHE was molested and she's projecting.

If you knew she had this rule, why didn't you just tell your dd that her friend's mother won't allow her to come and to pick another child?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Mom is over the top but a lot of people don't let their kids go to sleepovers. Why? Because most times molestation happens either with a family member, while the child is being babysat, or at a sleepover. I don't see the issue with that. She's not saying that the girl must be attached to her hip 24/7, she simply doesn't allow her to spend the night away from home. I'd get over it, that's not your child and it's not really your business. The girl is still capable of growing up normally and perhaps mom can compromise by having kids sleep over at her house instead.

AngelSinger
by Angel on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:10 PM
12 moms liked this
The accusations she's made are serious, and I would not allow her or her dd anywhere near your home.

She thinks your SO is a pedophile and talks shit about you. She's not your friend.
kiki719
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:10 PM
Wait what kind of party does she want you to throw for HER DAUGHTER? Seriously she wont even let her go.to.the party itself,
Lolabearlow
by boxer momma on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:11 PM

Wow, poor kid! That's WAY over the top.

zoegirlsmom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:11 PM
3 moms liked this
If someone called my DH a child molester, that friendship would end. That moment.
quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:11 PM

her dd is going to be so fucked up,probably afraid of her shadow!!be aware of whos around your child,not paranoid.

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